"I live on a street with a lot of elderly neighbors. Mrs. Higgins lives next door. She’s 90. Every night at 5 PM, she turns on her porch light. If the light isn't on by 5:15, I go over. It’s our silent code. Last week, 5:30 came. No light. I ran over. I knocked. No answer. I used the spare key she gave me. She was in the kitchen, confused. The power had gone out in her section of the house, and she couldn't reach the fuse box. She was sitting in the dark, afraid. 'I knew you’d come,' she said when she saw my flashlight. I fixed the fuse. We had tea. 'You’re a good neighbor,' she said. 'No,' I said. 'I’m just watching the light.' We are all just walking each other home in the dark. Look for the lights. And if one goes out, go knock. It takes five minutes to save a life."
Just a reminder: you are NOT unusual, weird, or unlovable if you have:
- no one to see on Christmas Day,
- no presents, or
- no contactable relatives.
Very few people live the idealised version on TV. Those of us who live differently—whether by choice or trauma—matter as much.
Hate to admit it, but they were right… you kind of do need to disappear, lock in like crazy, raise your standards, and refuse to lower them to get your dream life.
That realization usually comes after experience—and it’s a powerful one.
Sometimes progress requires stepping back from noise, distractions, and people who don’t align with where you’re going.
Locking in isn’t isolation for ego; it’s focus for growth. Raising your standards and refusing to lower them isn’t arrogance—it’s self-respect and clarity about the life you want to build.
Disappearing for a season can be the reset that creates your breakthrough.
DJ Zinhle who could never be photographed with her mother-in-law Murdah Bongz' mother was always seen everywhere with AKA's mother; shares her 2025 Christmas card.
Iyoooo going back home knowing very well you are hated, you know all you do is slave away for people that don’t even care. So many people would rather stay in the city than go back to the village. Parents are gone, in-laws are the pits and in some cases it’s just affordability. Things have changed so much.