this pumpkin was spared and left uncarved back in october and has struggled to find his purpose in the world since then. his family is long-rotten, the next gen is still on the vine. for now he’s sitting it out in the laundry room, trying to make friends but feels out of place
uhhhhhm so what we got here ma’am is a hole in your bank account, that’s where the money’s goin, don’t worry it ain’t ur fault, we’re gonna patch it up, we’re gonna find who poked this hole, and we’re gonna refill this empty son of a gun. how’s that sound?
some of those assorted chocolates that came in the gift basket ur family got were ones people didn’t like and threw out last year melted down and recycled into the new batch that’s why they taste a little off
penguins aren’t from the north pole they are from antarctica, which is the opposite of the north pole, and have no business skating around on all our holiday cards, wrapping paper and other merchandise, but they do and this is why polar bears are endangered