mpt

[mpt @maissofly]

things i learned at coachella: white people will walk barefoot anywhere EXCEPT in their house (?????). explain

[Tǒast @Themb0flcation]

Terrible hopping and jumping form he really is a bad bunny

[sydney @demiurgently]

my ducks? in a row. ordered. disciplined. behaving predictably.
your ducks? scattered. in disarray. waddling aimlessly. desperate for a leader to impose structure.

pathetic.

[mpt @maissofly]

@jbustoss RETWEET 🫡🫡🫡🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[keely flaherty @keelyflaherty]

strongly relate to the honey cake’s needs

[Luca @Luca_AU_]

You've just ordered Pizza Hut and a 2L Mountain Dew. You've loaded up RuneScape on your PC. No school tomorrow. Your parents don't care if you stay up all night long. A perfect Summer night. You are 39 years old. The year is 2022.

[Arturo Soto @elarturoso]

babe are you ok? you've barely touched your michenalga

[mpt @maissofly]

@sandyymargarita ladies and gentlemen, my ghost writer

[mpt @maissofly]

I started my vows today and already profusely sobbing when this is literally all I have ashjsgdgshssh

[Andrea More @amore_orless]

doing my affirmations

[🦇⚰️𝕰𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆⚰️🦇 @calicoestrella]

THERAPY ISNT ENOUGH I NEED TO PUNCH A FOUNDING FATHER

[Kaitlan Collins @kaitlancollins]

Amerie Jo Garza's father, a med aide, says he found out she was one of the victims when he arrived on the scene and was helping another little girl covered in blood. She told him her best friend had been shot. When he asked her name, she said his daughter's. There aren't words.

[Valerie Tosi @valerie_tosi]

You know your country is fucked when a pandemic actually saved children’s lives by keeping them out of school

[trash jones @jzux]

microdosing catholicism by feeling vaguely ashamed all day for no particular reason

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

when men are insecure? ew. but when men are confident? also ew… not sure what their path forward is.

[trash jones @jzux]

hey sorry i acted weird the other day i was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired