ajam_crab

black coffee drinker/ nocturnal habits maintainer/ rhymes maker/ hopeless jokes teller.

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

How to log out of adulthood? I don’t like it anymore.

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

crying throwing up ripping my hair out 😢 this one really hurts
end of the era,
forever grateful
Best of luck @dele_official we wish you all the best 💙

[Tottenham Hotspur @SpursOfficial]

Thank you for everything 💙

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

Mom can you pick me up, one of my patient doesn't know who eminem is and i feel ✨old✨

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

I might not be a comedian but my life is nothing but a comedy 🤡

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

my roman holiday started when i've given myself concussion from falling off the fountain while eating pizza. Everyone on Campo de Fiori saw that ✨pathetic✨show and my underwear. I’m not even surprised at this point.

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

I also want to apologise everyone who rode the same bus as me and my bag full of french and Italian cheese today.
Mi dispiace gente
Je suis désolé les gens
desculpe pessoal

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

Adulthood is when you buy yourself fancy cheese and wine and you realise how expensive it actually is. I’m devastated.

[Tottenham Hotspur @SpursOfficial]

We can confirm that we have formally commenced procedures to withdraw from the group developing proposals for a European Super League (ESL).

#THFC ⚪️ #COYS

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

I’m literally having the self preservation instincts of a duck crossing the highway 🦆 🦆 🦆

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

I have the organization of a mother’s tote bag

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

i've just met my first colleague at work and we drank coffee together. after 6 months of working in the same place only because i've forgot to grab my coffee from home ✨social butterfly ✨

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

another day another adventure
in today's episode I gave myself a concussion while playing with my kitten. ✨ athlete ✨

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

as responsible adult I refuse to keep my hair one colour 🌈 #corpsetwtselfieday

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

when your boss ask you to her office and you think she'll fire you but turns out it's only a christmas bonus. anxiety is my natural state of mind and crying in the elevator is my lifestyle

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit
🌶🌶🌶

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

Back to winning ways and keeping clean sheet. #ComeOnYouSpurs #coys

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

2020: hold my beer 🍺

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

2017 is the year for crying in places I never expected to.

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

How it's even possible that I used to be semi professional athlete once?
I literally just injured myself while sitting still?

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

perks of being clumsiest person on earth episode 134346:
hit my knee on desk,
bruised my hip and shoulder badly
fucked my elbow.
one day but FOUR different accidents...

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

Whoever decided that Monday between Christmas and new year’s is a working day was pure evil. Go back to hell man!

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

@Apfel_teufel No wiedziałam ze o czymś zapomniałam 😂🙈

[ajam_crab @maja_barc]

safe to say i'm not handling christmas baking well