Jess

✨✨✨

[Jess @majesssty]

I think my bf pretends to take long shits just to get away from me talking :-/

Definitely hear him listening to those other people yappin talking on their little videos in there 🤔 👀

Apparently there’s a lady on tiktok addicted to topical steroids

[Jess @majesssty]

You haven’t crossed the threshold into true adulthood until you get genuinely excited to replace your furnace filter. That you bought in a multi-pack at Costco.

[Jess @majesssty]

Oh, and the perfect scrambled eggs. Cheddar or regular, that’s up to you

[Jess @majesssty]

Doesn’t matter how good of a chef you are. At the end of the day, the only thing that actually boils down to is whether or not you make a mean grilled cheese

[Jess @majesssty]

If someone owes you money and is ignoring you, just use a new number every day and blow their phone up at like 6am

Not saying that it works or anything, but at least it’s kinda fun. Like a prank call, except the joke’s on both of you

[Jess @majesssty]

Revenge bedtiming tonight

[ggG @g_i_g_i_G_]

i <3 mashed potatoes

[Jess @majesssty]

so dystopian

[non aesthetic things @PicturesFoIder]

Why even go at the concert at this point?

[Jess @majesssty]

Thank god for a baby face bc 30 IS CREEPING UP ON A BITCH

[TITAN @TheTitanofX]

She too calm 😭 this aint her first random table fire

[zam @rao_zam]

@historyinmemes True af, here is a video of Young Michael Jackson at 11 years old 1969, I remember an interview with Smoky Robinson saying he couldn't believe this kid singing his song better than him. https://t.co/YhO4zBK8EQ

[Jess @majesssty]

Just moved my car to the lot I park in for work… and found this tiny stocking that must’ve fell out of my purse yesterday… with my $50 still in it lmao frick yeah

[Jess @majesssty]

@g_i_g_i_G_ Sweatshop gigi securing all the bags 🧵 stitch by stitch

[Jess @majesssty]

@g_i_g_i_G_ @kindofblue_2 💓💓💓💕

[Jess @majesssty]

Seeing that the closet of my dogs’ room is the chilliest & dryest joint in the whole house… I shall be converting it into a 1st story ‘wine cellar’ #sorrydogs #paysomebills

[Jess @majesssty]

Clearly not a Michigander

[Jess @majesssty]

@_badgirlriri Tbh though maybe it actually was the overall appearance LOL

[Jess @majesssty]

@_badgirlriri Actually it was in reference to my haircut, they said “shouldn’t you be filming season two of the bear” 💀