Major Mike White (parody)

Soldier. Hilltopper. Jets. Hair pomade user. Parody account.

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest Mother-
Good tidings! Whilst I pen this letter, I prepare to lead the company into battle. I apologize for such brevity, but I must rest my side arm.
-Mike

[Harold McKee @hdmckee]

@majormikewhite word has just come down that your promotion will soon be put to the test. A large sleuth of @ChicagoBears are approaching from the east. Take heed and prepare your line so that your position may be secure. We eagerly wait for news of your success from @FOXSports

[Harold McKee @hdmckee]

@majormikewhite news of your recent field promotion has reached all across this great Jets nation. It is with great pride that those who have followed your illustrious career from the Hill country in the south to your current assignment on the Passaic root for your success.

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother —
I am rallying the troops, for I am to command the Jets’ company, anew.
Ardently,
Mike

[Eric Allen @eallenjets]

With QB Zach Wilson in the locker room, Mike White is now leading the Jets' offense. #NYJvsPHI

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest NFL GameDay-
I am beholden to such a moniker and humbled by its esteemed origins.
I pen you this letter to apprise you that my previous company, Western Kentucky, ardently calls me by "Major Mike White," as well.
-Mike

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest NFL GameDay-
I am beholden to such a moniker and humbled by its esteemed origins.
I pen you this letter to apprise you that my previous company, Western Kentucky, ardently calls me by "Major Mike White," as well.
-Mike

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
Whilst I have your ear, I wish to inform you that my beloved Hilltoppers won their Homecoming battle. Not once did they bellyache through dreary conditions. The 49ers were absquatulate within the first row; their pickaxe was no match to the Tops' artillery.
-Mike

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
Whilst I have your ear, I wish to inform you that my beloved Hilltoppers won their Homecoming battle. Not once did they bellyache through dreary conditions. The 49ers were absquatulate within the first row; their pickaxe was no match to the Tops' artillery.
-Mike

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
Forgive me. Many fortnights have passed since I last penned a letter. Howbeit, I bring you good tidings! On All Hallows' Eve, I commanded my first battle & led the Jets' company to a victory over our feline foes. 'Twas a battle of fortitude & perseverance.
-Mike

[Barstool Western @BarstoolWestern]

In the first 22 hours of this Twitter Poll, there were 69,000 votes. In the matter of 1 hour at 8:30-9:30 in the morning, an additional 14,000 votes were cast, 100% of which were for BYU (and not 50%, as it has been the prior 22 hours). Disqualify them now @SXMCollege

[Ross Haynes @RossHaynes]

Major, you are correct sir. Scoundrels! The whole lot of them.

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
The cougars have proven to be bad eggs. They have bluffed with fraudulent ballots: using greenbacks to gain an advantage. At least Hilltopper country fights with honor and dignity. I am of opine that we shall still be victorious. Please continue support.
-Mike

[College Sports on SiriusXM @SXMCollege]

SiriusXM Mascot Bracket Championship

#16 @WKUSports vs #16 @BYUCougars

@WKUBigRed #GoTops @byu_cosmo #GoCougs

[Barstool Western @BarstoolWestern]

BYU just gained 5,000 votes in 5 minutes 🤔

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
This is balderdash! I am fit to be tied as the cougar is winning the battle. Anyone with horse sense knows that no mascot is more deserving & honorable than our Big Red. Please encourage thy neighbors to provide support as there is no time for any shirkers.
-Mike

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
This is balderdash! I am fit to be tied as the cougar is winning the battle. Anyone with horse sense knows that no mascot is more deserving & honorable than our Big Red. Please encourage thy neighbors to provide support as there is no time for any shirkers.
-Mike

[College Sports on SiriusXM @SXMCollege]

SiriusXM Mascot Bracket Championship

#16 @WKUSports vs #16 @BYUCougars

@WKUBigRed #GoTops @byu_cosmo #GoCougs

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
The cougar's company is bunch of braggarts in their penned responses to the row. Their mascot can cut a rug but lacks a cromulent personality. But bully! Hilltoppers deliver in droves of humble support! Let's knock 'em into a cocked hat!
-Mike

[College Sports on SiriusXM @SXMCollege]

SiriusXM Mascot Bracket Championship

#16 @WKUSports vs #16 @BYUCougars

@WKUBigRed #GoTops @byu_cosmo #GoCougs

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Dearest mother-
Good tidings! The company’s beloved mascot, @WKUBigRed, can taste victory. His row is with an uppity cougar. I pen to request that you make haste. Spread word & rally the town. Support is needed. Take up your Red Towel, FOR THIS IS DEAR OLD WESTERN’S DAY!
-Mike

[College Sports on SiriusXM @SXMCollege]

SiriusXM Mascot Bracket Championship

#16 @WKUSports vs #16 @BYUCougars

@WKUBigRed #GoTops @byu_cosmo #GoCougs

[College Sports on SiriusXM @SXMCollege]

SiriusXM Mascot Bracket Championship

#16 @WKUSports vs #16 @BYUCougars

@WKUBigRed #GoTops @byu_cosmo #GoCougs

[Major Mike White (parody) @majormikewhite]

Furthermore, Ricci's comment was not only an insult to our beloved Big Red, but to the great state of Kentucky & the United States of America, as well. So let us raise a glass of our finest bourbon, ride our thoroughbreds to battle, & knock Ricci & Gabibbo into a cocked hat.