taylor

just a bunch of dogs on each other's shoulders in a trench coat.

[taylor @majorstranger]

@Kate_Chastain LMAO

[taylor @majorstranger]

why are children excused from subway etiquette? let’s teach ‘em young

[taylor @majorstranger]

@angie__pants it’s all in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” but if you lie, we’re fucked lol

[taylor @majorstranger]

@angie__pants LET’S GOOO

[taylor @majorstranger]

@angie__pants dying

[taylor @majorstranger]

Garnier Fructis almost had me there for a second

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

A lot of people complain to me that their significant other isn’t impressed when they brush their teeth at night. This is a tough one

[taylor @majorstranger]

@SpikeLeesJoint @ericthulhu Room, Chernobyl, Milk, The Last King of Scotland, Monster, The Pianist, Boys Don’t Cry, Erin Brockovich, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, 1917, Titanic, Schindler’s List, Mindhunter…

[Steven Ray Morris @StevenRayMorris]

I’m afraid to look up the story behind John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

[taylor @majorstranger]

@angie__pants makes me sick

[Tig Notaro @TigNotaro]

I saw this girl in a super cute outfit and I was like I WANT THAT OUTFIT and then she got closer and it was the UPS uniform

[taylor @majorstranger]

my blind date: how will i know it’s you?
me:

[taylor @majorstranger]

@clhubes

[taylor @majorstranger]

not @Spotify breaking #heardle the first day they have it

[taylor @majorstranger]

let’s go

[taylor @majorstranger]

i feel whole

[taylor @majorstranger]

can someone show me “baseball in diapers” on dall-e? thanks

[taylor @majorstranger]

guess I’ll throw my hat in the ring; @grubhub my lunch literally never showed up, and now you owe me money thxxx #freelunch this was a trash offer!

[taylor @majorstranger]

it’s just a bonsai, grow up

[nodd teedle @noddteedle]

when the adults asked me to explain nft’s at the seder: