majsterhakjer

[TeeBag🇰🇪 @tii_bag]

...When asked why he left early he said, "Today I logged in to work at 7:54 AM. Thats 6 minutes early. So by your policy logic I get to leave an hour early. See you tomorrow."

[her.🎀 @luv1bun]

My Uber driver had a 4.61 rating. I almost canceled.
Instead, I got in.
Clean car. Safe driving. No weird conversation. Got me to work 15 minutes early.
At the end I said, "You're getting 5 stars."
He immediately replied, "Please don't."
I laughed and asked why.
He said, "If I hit 4.7, they start sending me premium trips 40 minutes away. My son has epilepsy. I have to stay close to home."
Then he showed me his phone.
Every week he begs one passenger to leave 4 stars.
Most refuse because "good service deserves 5 stars."
So when nobody helps, he intentionally misses exits or takes longer routes to drag his rating back down.
"The app rewards me for leaving my family behind," he said.
I gave him 4 stars.
He thanked me like I'd tipped him $1,000.

[𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖉 🔞 @calamitywoman]

relax bro, nobody’s taking your capri sun from you.

a little warmup vampfrey before doing merch.

[ahmed @ahmedawan132]

I finished med school

[Just Some Canuck @justsomecanuk]

I would rather a father take his girls into the women's room and hold my piss for a few minutes than those girls be exposed to men in the men's room

[Daily Beelzebub 🍔💕 @daily_beelzebub]

🎇🎇🎇

[girlsay. @_GirlSay]

btw straight people will say that LGBT education isn't age appropriate but will ask toddlers if they have a girlfriend

[☈€ᗰ☡€↳ 🥀⭒ @ohremzel]

My dad’s dry humor is a weapon specifically designed to break my silence 😭

[javi 🇧🇦 🇲🇽 🇨🇼 🇰🇷 @IAmTheVibes]

Girlfriend doesn’t even tell me she’s hungry anymore she just tells me if she doesn’t eat soon she’s “going to become evil”

[Tomodachi Life Updates @TomoLifeUpdates]

Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈

[Cats with Aura 😺 @catwithaura]

Momma cat's reaction after her kitten took her favorite toy

[May @Mayhamiii_]

in college, my professor paired me with the 4 laziest dumbest boys in my class because i can "handle them". i just did nothing too since my exam grade was enough for me to pass that class and we all failed the assignment

[No Context Cats @nocontextscats]

What a busy restaurant

[RoseBud🌹VGen 🍃 @therosespetal]

I’m sorry but why read mpreg if you’re not there for the pregnancy

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

VTuber Ironmouse has shared a major health update about her chronic illnesses that have left her bedridden at times

"I can now walk 35 minutes on the treadmill"

[Dottore C. @Doct0r_C]

He wasn’t good enough…

#qsmp2 #youngmulti #qsmpfanart

[Maryam @hell_line0]

Virgin – I’m proud of you.
Not Virgin – I respect you.
Pregnant – Enjoy your blessings.
Abortion – You had your reason.
Miscarriage – Strong woman indeed.
Infertile – Doesn't make you less of a woman.
Scars – You're still beautiful.
Fat/skinny – You're beautiful either way.
It’s time to stop judging & start empowering. Nobody is perfect ...love your imperfections.

[Nicki 🫧🪷 @nickimoraa]

He dumped me because he “wasn’t ready for commitment” and wanted to “focus on himself.”

Three weeks later, he texted me at 1:12 AM:
“Can I vent? You always understood me better than anyone.”

I replied instantly:
“Of course. Call me.”

Then I put my phone on airplane mode, moisturized, watched two episodes of my show, and slept like a baby.

Woke up to:
“???”
“Are you there?”
“I really needed you.”

I texted back at noon:
“Sorry, I needed to focus on myself.”

[༻🩷 Chica 🧡༺ (Leviastan!!) @GlamrrChica]

silly trend
#ObeymeLeviathan #Obeyme #ObeymeNB #obeymeshallwedate