Real Mike 🌜

Mike Knight parody account (shh don't tell) • yiggety yoyo

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

@maknizzisms like when you put a Q-tip in your ear and it's just pure ecstasy

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

Nothing gets me off more like hitting the right spot with a Q-tip

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

Rule number 3: the pillsbury doughboy does not exist and it's actually horrible

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

Two places I love seeing women: the gym and the career fair

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

....alright, I'm gonna hit you with another cliché....

[The Home Depot @HomeDepot]

Build and decorate a photo box at our Valentine-themed Kids Workshop on 2/4 at 9am. https://t.co/aooBRHcwvo

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

This woman died in jail

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

*Carrie Underwood comes on the radio* "Oh yeah."

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

Alright I'm gonna gut you with another question: what is your dream state to work in?

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

The cat's out of the bag! #webacktho

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

I'm gonna be honest with you I was 'the herdsman' in high school

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

@maknizzisms I think it's rice....I don't know

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

Two things I love in this world: bread and....uh I forget the second one but bread

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

When I die bury me in potato chips................Please

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

What did you want to be when you were 16?

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

Shit man. Now you're gonna have to *gulp*...get a life

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

*wahing hands* the water feels so good on your hands!

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

I'm actually going at a 10° angle, not straight

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

I prefer using suppositories because I can put something up my ass and feel it melt

[Real Mike 🌜 @maknizzisms]

*walks into bathroom*
*shouts* OH YEAH!!!