j coli

come and take a stroll thru the mud

[j coli @makowickij]

let gam gam take care of u

[j coli @makowickij]

People who make their Venmo transactions public; what do you have to prove

[cake 🍄 @cake_hoarder]

male birth control is free it’s called funko pop

[j coli @makowickij]

I asked a realtor she said nobody had asked

[j coli @makowickij]

I’m unclear why people who buy houses don’t ask how many dead dogs are buried in the backyard

[j coli @makowickij]

Wouldn’t you want to know if you had a pet cemetery back there?? And you probably DO

[j coli @makowickij]

Did y’all know that hyenas are cats and not dogs

[j coli @makowickij]

@rachkeff Want to pay me $5000 to start up your own business in the same pool of people all the other people from high school are selling to? I got u

[j coli @makowickij]

@rachkeff Actually this is not funny bc everyone is making $1000 from their bed rn it’s fine

[j coli @makowickij]

@rachkeff But Rachel you could make 1000 THIS MONTH from your own BED LMAO and then never make 1000 again!!

[j coli @makowickij]

And just like that, I have a craving for pine scented candles and orange coffee

[j coli @makowickij]

And I do have pretty feet

[j coli @makowickij]

Today @ChristinaP said that Birkenstock’s are the first step to losing male attention, but I would like to let u ALL KNOW, a man at the bus stop said “ey girl you got pretty feet” today in my Birks so

[j coli @makowickij]

Even Birks cannot save u from the male gaze

[j coli @makowickij]

My father in law has rattled off about 50 memes

[j coli @makowickij]

Old people love to read their Facebook feed aloud

[j coli @makowickij]

Frankly my Bitmoji needs a mask

[j coli @makowickij]

@_ky_h__ I don’t want that for you but I FEEL U

[j coli @makowickij]

If I’m anxious on Monday, I’m anxious till Friday at 4:45

[j coli @makowickij]

How is everyone else keeping track of time in quarantine? I’m all in on weeks.

[j coli @makowickij]

If I have a bad day, whole week is shot