My partner knows me well enough now that when I say an item is in a really safe place, I mean that it's safe from me and I need help finding it now please and thank you.
Me: hey there's something really easy and simple that you can do to help save lives everyday
Them: easy and simple? ofc, what do I have to do?!
Me: drive at or below the speed limit
Them:
There's a @Boeing complex near me that has a minor highway running through it. if you are very lucky you get to watch them towing a little jet or plane or whatever from one side of the road to the other!! Yes, you are held up, but it's so cool, I just don't care! โ
'You heart rate is a little elevated'
Well I just watched two hours of dateline in your waiting room, ofc it's elevated. Put some fucking teletubbies on or something, fuck.
๐ง 'We are thirsty, you should have some juice'
Me 'How about some water?
๐ง 'Oh maybe a popsicle!'
Me '....... w a t e r?'
๐ง 'Watermelon?'
Me 'You are so close and yet...'