malachi

he/he/he/ha. aspiring ram ranch cowboy

[malachi @malafag]

Me when the dog

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

went to the doctor for a check up and he called my penis nonsensical and my balls avant-garde

[Doc Strangelove @DocStrangelove2]

The clip has been summoned

[malachi @malafag]

This site was hilarious when the titan sub “still had oxygen”

[Shane 🦧 @TheMonkeyJungle]

It’s fun to park really really far away from the store as your passengers yell in protest

[doomer @uncledoomer]

this is what they want to do to gamers

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Gas prices are at crazy levels--fire Obama!

[Gay Metro Boomin @gaymetroboomin]

Metro Boomin want some dick nigga!

[doomer @uncledoomer]

that time of year again

[Just Jack @7Veritas4]

The FBI guy is on a paranoid bender and won’t leave his room.

The War guy quotes bible passages from Pulp Fiction.

The Health guy collects raccoon dicks.

It’s an Idiocracy on steroids.

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

My grandfather told me this minutes before he passed away. Lung cancer. Got it in Vietnam from the Agent Orange. He actually used his final breath to say this to me, specifically. Nobody in my family understood what he meant, but at just 6 years old, I knew…

[Chuckfug @Chuckfug]

Peeing in the shower is truly an indulgent joy, only rivaled by slapping my nonverbal son

[🅱️ryson @chobloks]

When I pour hot motor oil on my downstairs neighbors they scream loud as fukkkkkk

[MAKE OUT HILL - XXX @xxxtentacion]

a penis has a sad life. His Hair is a mess,his family is nuts,his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him

[SIR POOPSALOT @dieyanara]

I’m craving
Cheap, frozen fish sticks

[Ernest 🐬 @LustralBasin]

Rape whistles seem risky because it could alert other nearby rapists and start a kind of "feeding frenzy"

[eugyppius @eugyppius1]

If you are ever on a crashing airplane, know that you will not be permitted any silence or dignity to contemplate your impending fate and reflect on your mortality. Instead, you'll be subject to the pointless unproductive screaming of the hysterical foids all around you.

[Ante D. Luvian @uncle_deluge]

That's right. Threatening gas station attendants.