Valeria Faria

Garden Gnome Enthusiast. Funny as Hell.

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Melania watching Michelle

[Guido @heyyguido]

Susan B Anthony was a very WHITE feminist who only looked out for the interests of white women.

& the 19th amendment yall are celebrating today only gave white women the right to vote....

So from the looks of my timeline, some of you need to reassess

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

Ben Platt is the perfect man because he can sing, act, and do close up magic.

[Very Lonely Luke @VeryLonelyLuke]

Sure, Kylo can talk the talk.

But can ewok the walk?

Give me a break. I'm alone on an island.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

Also, we replace him with Bo Burnham. You're welcome.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

Here's an idea: we don't let Kanye host Coachella or anything else cuz he's had enough.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

What does it say about my mental health if I cry EVERYTIME I listen to the Hamilton soundtrack.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@_cadobabe That was my thought process!!

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

Eating veggies and Italian dressing and being v healthy.

*finds out bottle expired in June*

Just gonna slowly wait to die now.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

Part of being an adult is knowing that sometimes your feelings are stupid and wrong. #truther

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@_cadobabe my hero.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@_cadobabe true story.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@_cadobabe I wanna give you free coffee

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@_cadobabe

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@_cadobabe that movie was a gem

[_cadobabe @_cadobabe]

My favorite thing about wearing pants is taking them off.

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

@VladdViever I should start locking the doors

[Valeria Faria @malariafaria]

My INDOOR cat puked grass on my rug.
WHERE DID HE FIND GRASS?!

[Will Haynes @MrWilliamHaynes]

I’m so single I started loving myself.

[The Greatest Showman @GreatestShowman]

The dynamic duo, @RealHughJackman and @ZacEfron! 🎩🎩 #GreatestShowman

[Very Lonely Luke @VeryLonelyLuke]

Obi-wan's greatest Jedi mind trick was lying to me about my dad.