Elephant Man

Are you being intentionally dense?

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

I had a $400 Wagyu ribeye for lunch today.

I didn't pay for it.

An enterprise account executive from a tier 1 cybersecurity firm paid for it.

He's been trying to sell me a cloud-native endpoint detection platform for 8 months.

We don't need a cloud-native endpoint detection platform.

We don't even have endpoints.

Half of our workforce is using refurbished laptops from 2014 that are physically incapable of running his software.

But I told him we're "evaluating"

That phrase means absolutely nothing.

But in B2B sales, it's the equivalent of ringing a dinner bell.

He's bought me 8 lunches this year.

He asks about our migration timeline.

I stare out the window, sigh deeply, and whisper about decentralized integration bottlenecks.

He furiously takes notes and orders another bottle of sparkling water.

My total compensation package is $200K.

But my caloric ROI is incalculable.

Next week I have a pitch meeting with an AI analytics startup.

I checked their Series B funding round before agreeing to the meeting.

They have $40M in venture capital burning a hole in their pocket.

I'm going to let them buy me omakase.

Then I'm going to tell them our legacy infrastructure is experiencing packet loss and we can't deploy until 2029.

Corporate America is just a vast ecosystem of free meals if you know how to string along desperate account managers.

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Brutal

[Dioni, vuestro amigo.🇪🇺 @CeodeDionis]

Cada vez que veo una foto de Dua Lipa no paro de reírme acordándome del tío que dijo que a la gente que le resulta atractiva es porque no tiene adn Europeo que sepa detectar cuando una gitana te está intentando distraer para que te roben sus primos.

[Elephant Man @maldavanski]

@basedondennis Amazing looking LSes

[The Eagle🌲 @EagleZeroX]

Whenever you think you're sinking too much money into modding a car that you'll never get back, just remember there's tens of thousands of Jeep guys who have spent $60-100k modding their Jeep instead of buying one done already for like $15-30k.

Lowest value to mod ratio of any vehicle out there, by a longshot.

[Elephant Man @maldavanski]

@horsepower 5k and a firm handshake

[🦉Hootz🐍🇵🇸 @YngviCom]

overstimulating my autistic wife whom I adore

[Elephant Man @maldavanski]

@Michaeldudufudu Exposure + contrast

[𝖒𝖔𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 @wanted4mogging]

honestly not really sure why girls with hip dips are so insecure? theres always gonna be someone out there’d who’d give you a chance. really not sure why you complain when it’s about personality anyway

[Elephant Man @maldavanski]

@horsepower Any Range Rover

[9mmSMG @9mmsmg]

It's not shocking news that people who come from a nation of pure unadulterated violence will carry on the tradition of pure unadulterated violence in civilized Western nations.

I hate repeating it over and over but your nation is the direct result of your population. If that nation has failed to create or even maintain civilization, it stands to reason that citizens of that nation would not suddenly just change. There is no magic dirt.

[🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @KieranCFC88]

reasonable reaction

[Leo Kearse - see me on tour! Links in bio @LeoKearse]

If I say this man is "from a rapey paedo culture", I'm a racist. But he can defend himself in court by saying he's "from a rapey paedo culture". Make it make sense.

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

I have to agree, I think the more black people in fields the better

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 NEW: The police officers who handcuffed Henry Nowak took 8 minutes to realise he had been stabbed

MALE POLICE OFFICER: I’m not sure he’s breathing.

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER: (Checks for pulse in neck)

MALE OFFICER: He's not breathing.

FEMALE OFFICER: Right let's get the handcuffs off.

MALE OFFICER: Let them know he's not breathing.

FEMALE OFFICER: Yeah. (Talks on police radio). From 4-8 we don’t think he’s breathing. Could we get another unit here please? Got no pulse.

MALE POLICE OFFICER: (Unlocks handcuffs). Medic or anything. ARV.

FEMALE OFFICER: (Talks on police radio). ARV towards [us] if we’ve got them with a defib.

MALE OFFICER: (Removes handcuffs)

MALE OFFICER: He’s not unconscious mate, he’s not breathing. (Continues chest compressions). Come on mate. That’s it, that’s it. Keep breathing. Come on. (Pauses briefly). No.

FEMALE OFFICER: No? Keep going.

MALE OFFICER: Come on mate. Stay with us.

FEMALE OFFICER: Yeah, that's it mate, come on.

MALE OFFICER: That’s it. Come on, take a breath. (Continues chest compressions). That’s it bro, I got you. Come on.

FEMALE OFFICER: (Talks on radio). Go ahead? Thank you. Do you wanna swap?

MALE OFFICER: No, I’m alright.

FEMALE OFFICER: Sure?

MALE OFFICER: Come on mate. Come on. That’s it. That’s it.

FEMALE OFFICER: Have you, can you put a torch … I just wanna make sure that he hasn’t been stabbed. Are you alright to hold it? Thank you.

FEMALE OFFICER 2: (Walks into view). Do you want me to do it? Here you are.

FEMALE OFFICER: Cheers mate. (Passes torch to female police officer). Right, they’re gonna want him down to skin level for defib.

FEMALE OFFICER 2: I’ve got some … oh SCAS are here.

FEMALE OFFICER: Have you got scissors? Grab some scissors.

MALE OFFICER: (Continues chest compressions). Come on mate. (Whispers). He’s fucking gone. He’s got blood coming out his nose. (Talks quietly). He’s fucking gone.

FEMALE OFFICER: Right, if you stretch that clothing for me. Stretch it out. Perfect. (Unseen gesture/cutting of clothing). There's a lot of blood.

MALE OFFICER: Has he been stabbed there?

FEMALE OFFICER: Yeah, he's got a stab... there's a mark there.

MALE OFFICER: That makes it worse. He's got a stab... I'm pushing on a fucking stab wound. (Sound of clothing being ripped)

FEMALE OFFICER: That's okay. It's fine. It's not... it's not coming out. It's fine. Keep going. Keep going. It's not bleeding out.

MALE OFFICER: (Continues chest compressions)

At this point, a paramedic arrives and takes over. The transcript ends at 23:46. Nowak was pronounced dead at the scene at 00:37

[すずはや(3L2) @cp9a_6rs]

めっちゃかっこいいクルマおるやん

[Elephant Man @maldavanski]

All the air hostess puh he can dream of at his convenience and he still chooses a 12 year old, we really need to put him down

[Suffragent @Suffragent_]

This is Kwame Yeboah - an airline pilot for British Airways.

Originally from Africa but now based in Reading, he travelled hundreds of miles to rape a 12-year-old girl he met on Instagram.

He's been jailed for 8 years, costing taxpayers £400k.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Our CFO sent a panicked Slack message saying we're at 98% capacity on our enterprise cloud storage.

She asked if we were experiencing catastrophic data bloat from the new marketing push.

We aren't.

We're experiencing the sheer weight of my personal media empire.

I'm currently hosting a 40-terabyte Plex server on the company mainframe.

I have every single episode of Seinfeld rendered in uncompressed 4K resolution.

I told her our storage is full because of an aggressive database mirroring protocol required for GDPR compliance.

I said if we delete anything, we risk triggering a cascading latency collapse across our entire European market.

We don't even have a European market.

She immediately approved a $120K budget increase to expand our AWS storage buckets.

I thanked her for prioritizing our data sovereignty.

I'm going to use the new servers to host a private Classic World of Warcraft realm.

[Handre @Handre]

Germany, 1948. The Reichsmark is worthless. Cigarettes function as currency. Factory output sits at half its 1936 level, and the Allied occupation runs a price-control regime so absurd that farmers feed grain to livestock rather than sell it at the dictated price. Then Ludwig Erhard walks into a radio studio on June 20 and tells the German people the controls are gone. He did not ask the occupation authorities first. He told General Lucius Clay afterward that he hadn't altered the regulations, he had abolished them.

What followed embarrassed every Keynesian planner watching from Washington and London.

The Deutsche Mark replaced the Reichsmark at brutal terms: roughly 100 old marks for 6.5 new ones. Hard money, scarce by design. The black markets emptied overnight because goods reappeared in shop windows the moment prices could speak. Industrial production jumped over 50 percent in the second half of 1948 alone. And here is the part the textbooks bury: through the 1950s, as the economy grew at better than 8 percent a year, the cost of living stayed remarkably flat. Germans got richer while prices held or fell. Productivity outran the money supply, which is exactly what's supposed to happen when a central bank keeps its greedy paws to itself.

Falling prices alongside roaring growth, rising real wages, and a currency people actually wanted to hold rewarded Erhard's Germany. Deflation is not the disease. It is the natural reward for producing more than you did last year.

The Bundesbank inherited this discipline and guarded the Mark with a stinginess that drove politicians to fury for forty years. That stinginess built the strongest economy in Europe. Then the same political class buried the Mark under the euro in 2002 and handed monetary policy to people who consider 2 percent annual theft a "target."

Erhard proved sound money and free prices rebuild a bombed nation in a decade. Every finance minister since has worked very hard to forget it.