venti rat

Borat 2 tonite queen??

[venti rat @malfanton]

@James_L_Walker At this point who hasn't he take money from... if we all pooled together we could probably buy him back

[venti rat @malfanton]

This happened to me at Dublin Airport and they asked if I was confident I came in with 2 boots that day

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

TSA made me take my boots off and get back in line and then they LOST -* ONE*- BOOT in the fucking xray machine for like 15 mins and treated me like *I* was a crazy asshole for being like HEY WHAT THE FUCK IM GONNA MISS MY FLIGHT so fucking incredibly I did in fact miss my flight

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

After you retire they unlock new exclusive movies for you. Dad asked if I had watched the Jeff Daniels Ronald Reagan movie. That doesn't exist for me yet. I'm not able to see that.

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

just got hospitalized for being cringe. they put me in the awk ward

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Overhearing the videos people are watching on their phone is the easiest way to lose hope. All day long I overhear what can only be described as Dumb People Parables. Long dead copypastas, urban legends, conspiracy theories, and weird adultery fantasies all retold by AI voices.

[Keith @nagy_minaj]

Odysseus returning to Ithaca

[Yoko Ono @yokoono]

Who will win the World Cup?
A child who believes in a peaceful world.

[/ @privaz3tte]

"70mm imax" i will go to a vue in a deprived area and i will enjoy it

[maia ☆🇵🇸 @maiadidntwakeup]

Complaining about my stomach hurting after knowingly eating some bullshit

[venti rat @malfanton]

@BeeBabs She has huge "has everybody signed the card for Lilian's birthday" energy. She's giving Pam from the Office

[Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman]

“odyssey this” “odyssey that” u odyssey a therapist

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

i love your niche references! are you typically ignored in large groups by any chance

[Giza @Givenkazeni]

This is the most Friday a Thursday has ever felt.

[ѕєиɪ @zalatwicc]

i said it's my favorite movie i didn't say it was good

[julia @juumelo_]

the men were so right watching sports and drinking beer has in fact healed me

[Sonya™ @sonyatrademark]

A Guy You Dated 8 Years Ago and 3 other people viewed your profile. See the full list with Premium.

[bri @bribrisimps]

the devil hears that you’re nauseous and sends you a tesla uber that is heavily air freshened

[venti rat @malfanton]

@MattZeitlin This proves that De Gaulle's plan is measured in centuries

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

we’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it