Mallory Martin

Think Less. Stupid More.

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

"Getting engaged at a child rat casino [Chuck E. Cheese] is way classier than getting engaged on Valentine's day" - Cody Rigsby. Yes.

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Since I haven't been on Twitter for over a year... Is #latertweet a thing?

[Mishawaka Amphitheatre @themishawaka]

💐 What an exquisite wedding with the most lovely folks this past weekend!
Thanks @malfrogg for sharing your day with us!
#mishawakaamphitheatre #mountainweddings #poudrecanyon #octoberbliss

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@PrecisionAirTz Your team canceled two of our flights without refund on January 5th, 2023. We filed the refund requests through your customer service email [email protected]. What can we do to expedite this process? #unhappycustomer

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Agreed! @boburnham should have damn well won. RAGE TWEET!

[Devin Lee Johnson @DevinEKLJohnson]

Oh my. Oh my.
Never thought I’d be sad to see Hamilton win an award. I wanted #BoBurnham to win that Emmy so, so badly. Hope he knows he deserved it.

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@ConanOBrien Norm was a legend, one of a kind.

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@mwilton13 Eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkk

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@ty_screams Heard the term "gaytanic" at a metal show last week. Think this is a synonym.

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

"I need you to be as fearless as Gwen Stefani during this ara wearing adult braces." #codyrigsby

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Stop what you're doing and go watch Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar. Best comedy in way too long @BarbAndStar #KristenWiig

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Happy Halloween from Moira and Johnny #SchittsCreek @danjlevy

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@tymcsilva Does that cousin follow you on Twitter?

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Do you know how many times we've turned a death sentence into a life paragraph? @futuremanonhulu #YES

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

👌👌👌

[FUNKLORDZ @Chromeo]

Alright hope this cheers you up a bit. Our first quarantine funk, we call this one Clorox Wipe. Full version on our IG. 🎶 “if I could reincarnate, toniiiiight” 🎵 y’all want more like this?

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

But seriously, if you haven't started @watchmen yet... Drop everything you're doing.

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Spotify is the best. #spotifywrapped https://t.co/Et6Oul96kY

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

.@Bayonne so close, Toyota #wrongbey

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@tymcsilva Excuse me while I go throw up everywhere

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@friction thanks for another sick night! You're hands down one of the all time best DJs in the world and we love you 😎

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

Things observed this week:
1. Avengers Endgame was dope
2. Beyonce is an actual badass re: Homecoming
3. Warm chocolate chip cookies are the best food group

[Mallory Martin @malfrogg]

@TobinOlson Tobias Olsonious: the stankiest species in the Northern Hemisphere