𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈

quak quak

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@IWDBrisMeanjin Oh my god shut the fuck up

[Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social) @ashleyfeinberg]

Royal guard solemnly entering the corgi wing of Buckingham palace and weeping as they tie tiny blindfolds on the dogs they've got left

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

RIP Queen lol

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@NayukaGorrie Reminds me so much of that kid Randal from that cartoon Recess

[furby hancock @furby_hancock]

you're in her dms she's putting a blanket over my cage so i think it's time to sleep

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@MadameBussi Same

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@MadameBussi Ok but make sure not to get a silly goose

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@MadameBussi I’m not making suggestions - I’m here to dissuade you getting a bird (unless you’ve really thought and researched about it)

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

I only realized this week that in the kids show Madeline the girls are in a boarding school. I thought they were weirdly upbeat orphans

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@ all the Buranda Woolies workers coordinating to catch a woman trying to rack a carton of custard, ew get a life

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

Just thinking about how when we were negotiating to not have our rent increased by $40 a week we didn’t even think to mention that we have never had running cold water in the kitchen. We’re just that use to it

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

I saw someone with a bumper sticker that had a picture of Matthew Morrison in front of flames with the word ‘war criminal’ over top and it made me laugh a lot

[punished tenant @sophhaze]

BREAKING: Worst Person You Know Is Becoming A Social Worker

[Scott Morrison - Former PM of Australia (parody) @scottyfrommktg]

YOU CAN’T SACK ME BECAUSE I QUIT

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

If you’re a drag queen and you pose with your entire finger in your mouth just know that I probably hate you irrationally

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

@itsthom I’m not a coward, just ignorant

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

Heartened to find out that when I’ve had a few too many I just tweet about egg white omelets

[𝐼 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝒹𝓈 @malibubooby]

I remember when I asked my dad to make me an omelet when I was a kid and he made me and whipped egg white omelette and I thought that was the most deranged way to make an omelette