I hate how gullible I am in my dreams. Someone is like "bro remember, you're the prince of frosting mountain?" And I'm like I forgot yeah of course I am, I'm such a fucking idiot
Steeling my courage on my first day as a woman and offering one of my clearly menstruating fellow female coworkers a tampon from my oversized bag but she takes one look at the large knuckled hand holding it and shoots a stream of blood out of her cunt like a startled squid
When I did jury duty they put the ballots in like a big shaker cube and spun it around to select the ballots, and when the court officer picked one out I yelled "BINGO!". Nobody laughed but someone did mutter something homophobic so at least i got a little engagement
Whenever I am introduced to an Asian person I do a deep formal bow. It makes them visibly uncomfortable but they can’t say anything because they think I mean well. I don’t.
Watching a woman take a bath is a sensual, beautiful, almost dreamlike experience, watching a man take a bath feels like watching some fat effeminate pervert lolI in his own filth like a deranged imbecile
I like tales of the old blues legends because you’ll read a story about how a guy was so good at guitar that people swore he sold his soul to the devil and then you listen to it and it’s the worst dog shit you ever heard