mattie

au alum

[emma @t0tallyh0t]

us: we want justin bieber
usher:

[Chrisean @ChriseanMalone]

Shit be weird that’s why ion got nothing to do wit it fr

[Jen👩🏼‍🌾 @TheGr8WiteShart]

this who y’all broke stub hub over

[Auburn Football @AuburnFootball]

I 𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗩𝗘 in Auburn and 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗧 🦅

[Auburn Football @AuburnFootball]

We'll just leave this here... 𝗪𝗔𝗥 𝗘𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗘

[Tom McGovern @tommcgovern27]

a man in his 70’s walked up to my piano and slapped this down with $100 during the first 10 minutes of the show last night

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

whenever i have a weird interaction w another person im always like “was it me? was i the weird one?” and then i remember that the world is burning to the ground

[trash jones @jzux]

no offense to plates but literally any food is better in a bowl

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

gorgeous girls say “I’ll just have a little snack” then eat a whole brick of cheese

[austin @slimedloner]

ngl shit fell apart after 2nd grade

[Losing it @prophethusband]

Mother in law asked if I had any wine glasses. yeah I keep them next to my bars of gold and first edition shakespeares. Get real

[GL @gldivittorio]

If we go back into full lockdown all winter I'm starting hard drugs or becoming a flat earther or something I cannot do this again fully aware

[John Levenstein @johnlevenstein]

If changing the time were popular we’d do it at noon with a big clock and a celebration, not like thieves in the night.

[abolish the police @biosyntheticboy]

The millennial/gen z divide isn’t the year you were born, it’s whether you watch tiktoks on tiktok or watch tiktoks on Instagram reels

[Chase @notchaselyons]

My dentist said I grind in my sleep damn he’s real for that 💯

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

"it's 77 but it feels like 85" ok then we need a new system for interpreting what the temperature is because only one of those numbers matters

[Spc @sp_ceii]

Can’t trust a mf who says all water taste the same