Malløry MacDonald

Scorpio

[Malløry MacDonald @mallorymacc]

Nothing makes me more immediately uncomfortable than people who say "I'm a hugger" upon introduction

[lara 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𖥧 @fakeltfIower]

guys take shrooms and realise the same things a 13 year old girl understood after listening to the 1975 once

[Cheska @SiCheskaBa]

"In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you."

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

but that’s my emotional support sweatshirt I’ve been wearing for 6 days

[clintoris @clintoris]

Does anyone know whats gonna happen w everything

[pat regan @poregan]

When youre in a conversation with someone at an event i wish you could ask them “what is an example of something i can say to you right now??”

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

take good care of myself? in this economy?????

[D. A. Powell @Powell_DA]

What if we all took the week off and just screamed.

[Laura Marie @lmegordon]

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time.

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

It's so rude that my dog isn't allowed to go everywhere with me. He might love musicals or renaissance art or the ballet but now we'll never know!

[trash jones @jzux]

surely THIS is the cup of iced coffee that will finally hydrate me

[rach against the machine @rchlmllnd]

Thinking about this dedication from Gloria Steinem's My Life on the Road

[james tom @jestom]

feeling grief at possibly losing twitter, the platform I love the most. but then I'm like... maybe not wading thru bite sized chunks of the worst news I've ever read in my life for a chance to post a joke that makes everyone angry is a good thing

[No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen @NoLieWithBTC]

Elon Musk told the United Nations he would give them $6 billion to end world hunger if they showed him a detailed plan of how they would use the money. They called his bluff and gave him their plan— and then they never got the money. Now he’s buying Twitter for $45 billion.

[Buzzy Cohen @buzztronics]

Do you also look at the menu of the restaurant you're going to for dinner at 11:00am to figure out what you are going to eat in 8 hours or are you normal?

[river 🤠 @rivbutcher]

actually not a fan of people asking me why i’m a vegetarian and then proceeding to tell me how much they enjoy eating animals