mallory

a full time hoe for star wars , she\her

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

*me scrolling through my own tweets* wow this bitch is HILARIOUS when will she get the recognition she deserves

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@panerabread guys the film on your product is so unopenable, the tab ripped off and it cracked the bowl beneath. please do better

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@ZARA_Care how am i supposed to wash these pants?? every option is crossed out- i’m at a loss here…

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@Flowersbyfidels i need to know how much money i’m spending on this hahaha

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

what a cutie!! y’all are gonna love spellbound 💜

[Netflix @netflix]

Rachel Zegler's reaction to her *first ever* singing doll is ADORABLE.

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

it’s not lost on me that team usa cut off Beyoncé’s YA YA right before the lyric “are you tired of working time and a half for half the pay?” #ceremoniedouverture

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

i hate medical testing. $100 to tell me i’m actually fine and i can’t use dying as an excuse to get out of my problems

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

lollllll @bathbodyworks

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@McDonalds they were! it was the customer’s fault, not theirs at all. your employees were very kind and helpful about it!

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

god bless the @McDonalds workers who made my breakfast sandwich anyway after a guy literally took 10 minutes to order in the drive through so we all missed 10:30. those are true american heroes

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@jennarahman123 if there’s any chance you’d split into 2 and 2, i am looking for 2 tickets!

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

happy halloween you can catch me at the haunted corn maze flirting with all the monsters

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

taylor really said don’t you ever say starbucks lovers ever again #OfExLovers #1989TaylorsVersion

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

not me thinking that devin booker was cory booker’s son this whole time 💀💀

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@chesleydohl @JShadab1 because this guy has been posting misinformation about the storm all day. just report and block

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

the way my aunts talk about trader joe’s like he’s a real guy……

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@sirbroll @nyjets @JetsGangGreen24 @AaronRodgers12 @taylorswift13 they know the deep cuts 😭

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@senatormachaela You are doing amazing work!!! keep it up!!!!!

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@Etsy @FBIGreg Please is someone able to help me. It has been 16 hours without a reply from anyone in your customer service team and this is an urgent matter. l shouldn’t have to beg for assistance and this is becoming really unacceptable

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

@FBIGreg @Etsy @Etsy @FBIGreg sorry back into my main account, i can verify that this is me and my DMs are open! please message as i have still not received email assistance

[mallory @mallorythoughts]

at this bar there’s alone for the men’s bathroom and not the women’s but when i yelled out “HELL YEAH WOMENS RIGHTS” no one even laughed >:(