mallory

future patron saint of vodka crans // avid puzzler // '06 swiftie 🕺

[mallory @malmalschneider]

"The pain you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming"

[Mark Palmer @MarketPalmer_]

Me: I’d like a deep fried Oreo

MN State Fair: yup

Me: …and a brand new Ford F-150

MN State Fair: no worries we got you

Me: also weird question but do you know where I could watch a live calf birth

MN State Fair: bro you’re not gonna believe this

Me: awesome, just need a parking spot

MN State Fair: okay that we don’t have

[sarah 🫶🏻 @sarahisinspace]

is this how our mothers felt when princess diana got married or what

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

There is nothing worse than letting down your country, getting your hearts ripped out and then be given a stuffed animal. #USAHockey

[Old Row Sports @OldRowSports]

Connor Hellebuyck - Secretary of Defense

[todd bonzalez @doinkpatrol]

why does brady tkachuk have to be mic'd up. mic up quinn hughes so we can just hear him heavy breathing

[Bryan @Metalpanthers]

We will be pregaming at 4am for the USA-Canada game, don’t be late

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

DOWN BUT NEVER OUT TEAM USA WINS GOLD AND CRUSHES CANADA’S SOUL IN THE PROCESS

[missy @messycarroll]

My guy called in a favor last night

[UW-River Falls Athletics @UWRFFalcons]

𝗣𝗮𝗹𝗺 𝗨𝗽, 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 🏆🏈

A belief that became a reality! UW-River Falls Football has claimed the 2025 NCAA Division III National Championship 😤👏

#FFT #d3fb

[sam ꕤ @berstcns]

the transition…i’m sobbing on the floor

[iya ★ @hotmessjunk]

not once, not twice, but THREE times

[Alex Goldschmidt @alexandergold]

One thing about me? I’m going to keep it 100 on the land, the sea, the sky and pledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes.

[Mark Rosen @KFANRosen]

This is like blaming the violin player for the sinking of the Titanic.

[ruby¹ @ALYSAL1U]

how it feels to watch Taylor Swift get engaged

[Kaitlyn 🪩📸❤️‍🔥 @d0dgedabullet]

Funny enough, I've also been saving up to buy her music since I was a teenager. She's just like me frfr

[ava @thislllove]

You’d think I just got engaged, pregnant or promoted the way people are texting me congratulations