malpup

fun enough to pup with

[malpup @malpup]

In high school I'd call a friend to ask to borrow a sweatshirt for a party we were going to and I'd be thankful that I had the best outfit ever.

[malpup @malpup]

Let's just cut the crap and go straight to telling me what the temperature "feels like".

[malpup @malpup]

When flying from Denver to Texas you fly southEAST and that is crazy to me.

[malpup @malpup]

Me on a random Wednesday: I think I need to buy a circular saw

[malpup @malpup]

Thankful for my left foot for acting as an ice pack to my right knee.

[malpup @malpup]

Not me getting into a fight with a stranger on instagram in the comment section of a post from my favorite sushi restaurant LOL.

[malpup @malpup]

The Polo Ralph Lauren outlet needs to chill out with their prices.

[malpup @malpup]

GMO apples > organic apples

[malpup @malpup]

I love my sisters. Sisterhood is everything.

[malpup @malpup]

"Are you mad at me?"

- Me to my dog who's laying on the other side of the couch not looking at me

[malpup @malpup]

I am a savage in an airport lounge.

[malpup @malpup]

Enough with the petition to not recline on airplanes. I'm starting a petition to not use the arm rests.

[malpup @malpup]

This super wide leg pant phase can't phase out soon enough. Buh bye.

[malpup @malpup]

Me: Can I get a manicure?
Nail Salon Girl: And an eyebrow wax?
Me: Nope, just a manicure.
Nail Salon Girl: Are you sure no eyebrow wax?

.... every single time.

[malpup @malpup]

Way too many girls wearing shorts playing in the US Open this year.

[malpup @malpup]

Can we please get this straight, for once and for all... When someone hangs up a phone on you, there is no dial tone. There has never been a dial tone. Including when using landline phones. Please stop this disinformation from continuing to infiltrate movies, tv shows, and books.

[malpup @malpup]

Will I ever not feel like I'm moments away from getting arrested when I walk into a liquor store?

[malpup @malpup]

Now I see people who have lost weight and just say "ozempic" and keep going with my day not feeling bad about myself the way I would have 10 years ago. So thank you for that, ozempic.

[malpup @malpup]

I wish 'Pink Pony Club' was a song when I got married.

[malpup @malpup]

Cracking myself up in the family chat.