Laura Reynolds

Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.I follow back

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

I still think Barack Obama stole "Yes We Can" from Bob the Builder..

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

I read that pigs only sleep on their right side. Which finally explains why I can never get your mom to roll over.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

Don't you hate when somebody ask you to do something then complain how you do it?BITCH I AINT HAVE TO DO SHIT FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE TF?

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography." - Mark Twain

[Flora McCoy @grechishko_ms]

"Um, it's like that in every country, son."

[Mary Meeks @eremey_82]

Back in elementary school, when you were line leader, everyone else was your bitch.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

*4am text message* "Hey are you asleep?" - "No I'm scuba diving, what the fuck do you want?"

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

I don't care if you're joking, if I'm in a bad mood, you're pissing me off.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" She just texted me "Your grandmother just died. LOL."

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

Looking at things you wrote or comments you made from a year ago and wondering how you could possibly be that stupid.

[Helen Shumaker @VesninNazariy]

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

Dear face wash commercials, nobody actually splashes their faces with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

Niggas will spend $200 on shoes but got no car. . Guess them feet gotta be comfy while you walkin

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if people can hear it too.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

Police Officer: "Freeze!" .. Criminal: "EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!"

[Molly Digirolamo @shedzl1]

Teacher:How old is your dad.Student:He is as old as I am. Teacher:How is it possible? Student:Because he became a dad only after I was born.

[Joyce Wright @IPashentseva]

Saying "never mind" when you don't feel like repeating yourself.

[Laura Reynolds @malyuta76]

I give respect to whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + Gun = Unstoppable death machine.

[Colleen White @BGbabalych]

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?