Mama KGB

True Boss of DaOutHouse. Wife to @mr_orange25 Mother of Tangelo, Mandarin, and Clementine

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

If we’re both on our phones but have one hand on each other’s genitals, does that count as quality time?

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

Haven’t made eye contact with my husband during sex for 3 years but he just looked me dead in the eye, lifted his leg, and ripped a fart. So yeah, 2021 is off to a good start

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

I took an oath

“I will defend the constitution and obey the orders of the president”

I believe they left out one part. Obey the LAWFUL orders

All vets and current service memebers that KNOW in their heart that this isn’t right...take a stand
#VetsAgainstTrump #vets4thepeople

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

@CLEFAN811 @DanLaMorte You’re*

(The irony will escape him)

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

Listening to conservatives defend @realDonaldTrump is like listening to a battered spouse trying to convince you that their abuser is “a good person inside”

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

Just saw the #IranvsUSA hashtag for the first time.

Are we really #TeamAvsTeamB for wars now?

We’re all cool with that? Twitter “diplomacy” & war hashtags are reality?

😗 🎵 BUS DRIVER, this is my stop

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

Nothing but Flags League is back!

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

#GBvCHI @NFL @espn #football #NFL

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

Pintrest was actually invented by a Russian mother to torture her daughter

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

A few things that don’t make a difference;

1. Repeatedly pushing the elevator button
2. Taking penis enlargement pills
3. Thoughts & prayers

#congressdosomething

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

Every village has an idiot

The internet has helped them unite

[Same S#!t Different Toilet @ssdtoilet]

What is your favorite summer destination? Hear where the crew is looking to go on next week’s all new episode of Same S#!t, Different Toilet. #DOH #podernfamily

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

There was a time that the number of CDs I displayed actually helped me get laid.

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

It’s 2019 and we’re dealing with unvaccinated people & fools that believe the Earth is flat.

It’s now a dumpster fire going to hell in a hand basket

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

Whoever is telling some of your guys that you look better without your beard doesn’t love you and wants you to be alone.

Beards are male makeup. Remember it

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

@WyndWhyd @AJA_Cortes What do you call it when someone makes a post about reading that contains a grammatical error?

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

Can’t reach your dealer this morning? Running a little low on your favorite drug of choice?

No problem

Just flip back and forth between @CNN and @foxnewstalk and try to figure out how they are discussing the same report

Eventually the room will spin and you’ll fall over

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

People want to bitch that technology has ruined our personal relationships but 30 years ago I couldn’t give two of my best friends in other states a 🖕 instantly and that warms my heart a little

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

My wife’s kale salad should be called “Elvis salad”. It’s so delicious you can’t stop eating it and then you go to the toilet to die

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

ANYONE can be an idiot even if they share your; sex, skin color, political affiliation, religion, nationality, sexuality, etc...

Stop defending indefensible acts based on these things alone.

[Mr. Orange @mr_orange25]

In the French Quarter for 5 minutes and already saw a domestic dispute and multiple sets of boobs.

On a Sunday

[Mama KGB @mama_kgb]

FFS Karen, that’s dinner not an emotional support animal. Now please take your chicken off the plane