Mama Bumbleberry

she/her work-at-home mama to two. Raising kids is a trip.

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

Just stepped on a #Lego, shrieked like a velociraptor, and peed a little.
4yo asks, “What’s happened, mama?”
Me: “I’ve had two children!”
#momlife #imomsohard #mamasays

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

"Don't feed the plants wine"

Really?

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

"Don't throw cats at naked people."

The sentences I've said as a parent are utterly remarkable.

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

9yo: ...yeah, and then I'd have to spend money that I don't have.
Me: Because you spend all your money on candy.
9yo: That's how I choose to spend my money. Don't judge me. I'm a kid.

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

5yo: what's that black by your eyes?
(Referring to my eye make up)
5yo: it looks like you have a owie
(I swipe under my eye to try to remove rogue shadow)
5yo: now it looks like you didn't get any sleep last night

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

8yo just asked for #nightmarebeforechristmas

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

We asked the 5yo which Christmas movie she wanted to watch.
#Halloweentown
That's my spooky girl!! 👻

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

5yo: Mama, your boobs are like 2 giant pop-its!

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

7yo: why don’t we give Santa some bacon next year? Everyone gives him sugar, and he needs some good food.
…
And maybe some beer.
4yo: what?!
7yo: he needs energy!
😮

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

7yo: this show is weird.
Me: why do you say that?
7yo: it’s kinda weird and it doesn’t have a laugh track.

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

4yo: when I grow up, I’m going to put a secret ingredient in everything I cook.
It’s love!
…and pretzels.

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

7yo: I can think with my eyes open.
Do you wanna try it?

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

7yo: There are clowns and math in my brain.

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

7yo lays on her auntie’s pregnant belly while watching a show.
*gasp*
“I think I heard the baby giggle!”

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

Partner: How did you get over there?
7yo: I have feet that are this big.

#😳😮
#parenthood
#imomsohard

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

6yo: can I have bubbles in my bath?
Me: no, we can’t add the bubbles after the water is in the tub.
6yo: is it disrespecting the law?
Me: 😳😳😳
#kidssay
#parenthood
#momlife

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

Me: Let’s watch a show! What do you want to watch?
4yo: *gasp*
*belch*
*giggle*

Is that on Netflix or Hulu?
#kidssay
#betteroutthanin
#parenthood
#momlife

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

4yo: I want juice!
Me: What kind?
4yo: lake juice.
Me: ...
...
Water?
4yo: yeah!

#kidssay
#momlife
#parenthood

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

I’m making dinner and the smoke alarm goes off.
6yo says: “I think the smoke alarm is just hungry.”
#parenthood
#momlife
#imomsohard

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

@lightbulbmomen2 In a SATC tutu, and a cheetah helmet. Ohmygods I love her so much!!

[Mama Bumbleberry @mamabumbleberry]

3yo began telling me a story about “lenomade.”
I did, in fact, yell at the partner when they attempted to correct the 3yo.
It will forever be lenomade now.
Tell your friends.
#momlife
#parenthood