managerduck

The name's Bill Ducky. I'm an IT management evangelist, mentor, entrepeneur, god, superhero, rockstar and teenage mutant ninja turtle.

[managerduck @managerduck]

Look at #history, you'll find incredible #IT feats. Did you know that the Romans never failed an IT project? People will tell you it's because they didn't have computers back then, but I'll tell you the real reason: discipline!

#business #computer #job #hardwork #selfdiscipline

[managerduck @managerduck]

#ThursdayThoughts: Machiavelli once asked whether it's better to be feared or loved. I loved my #exwife. Now? Now she's just an annoying #money sink. #Bees, though... got stinged by a bee once, still fear those little #bastards today. There's your answer. #DuckingBees, man.#Memes

[managerduck @managerduck]

If we look to the past, we'll find incredible IT feats. Did you know that the Romans never failed an IT project? Sure, people will tell you it's because they didn't have computers back then, but I'll tell you the real reason: discipline! #management #history #programming #agile

[managerduck @managerduck]

I was asked to improve the #UserStory throughput of my department. I don't know what a User Story is, so I just told the #developers to start splitting them in two. 100% #improvement within a month! Don't work harder, work smarter! #agile #programmers #development #software #it

[managerduck @managerduck]

In the #websummit18, with Tony Blair, @BradSmi said #ArtificialIntelligence needs regulation. I agree. First rule has to be "if you're an #AI, #timetravel is forbidden". Oh, #nuclearWeapons are off-limits too. We just avoided #JudgmentDay. You're welcome, John Connor. #WebSummit

[managerduck @managerduck]

Get in the #WebSummit2018 mood by doing something #WebSummit-esque (ie, random and useless)! Can't introduce yourself to three random people? No worries! Retweet 3 random tweets! #StartUp your day with a #RandomRetweet! I know, I'm not that good at #puns. I kind of duck at it.

[managerduck @managerduck]

Make sure you use less known #buzzwords! If you say "We should work with #MachineLearning", you'll look like just another manager. But saying "Our Machine Learning solution should use #Kubernettes and #Docker" makes you look like a #pro (even if you don't know what any of it is)!

[managerduck @managerduck]

I like this layering thing. Paul asked me for a #promotion yesterday, told him I couldn't, since we're trying to avoid layers and keep a flat #hierarchy. It's a bit of a #communist thing, but saved me some bucks! Thank you, #management 3.0! #WednesdayWisdom #projectmanagement #it

[managerduck @managerduck]

#ProTip: Want to make your boring and mudane idea sound #trendy and #cool? Just add numbers to it! Want some examples? #Industry 4.0! #Management 3.0! #Web 3.0! #Chilli #Noodles 5.0! It's so easy! #Industry40 #Management30 #TipOfTheDay #managers #it #itworld #programmers #manager

[managerduck @managerduck]

Just found out about #AppEconomy and it's amazing! When someone asks you about a buzzword, just say you feel it'll have a positive effect on it and you're set! Want an example? "I feel that #MachineLearning will have a positive effect in the #App #Economy". #TipOfTheDay #it #tech

[managerduck @managerduck]

I love #startup #mentality. I tell people everyone should do everything, even answering the phones. So, by faking answering calls now and then, I tricked #Kevin into making us #coffee every #morning. "It's a #mindset thing, Now do that #MorningJoe". #projectmanagement #management

[managerduck @managerduck]

Another good expression you can use is "when you break it down to basics". Throw in a #buzzword, say something obvious and you're good to go! Want an example? "The #InternetOfThings, when you break it down to basics, is about connecting things to the #Internet". #iot #TipOfTheDay

[managerduck @managerduck]

"I think #MachineLearning coupled with #BigData is the future". #ProTip: link two #IT #buzzwords using "coupled with". It's incredible! If it makes sense, you'll be considered a tech-savvy opinion maker. If it doesn't, you're a gutsy out-of-the-box thinker! Win/Win! #TipOfTheDay

[managerduck @managerduck]

#Meetings are your place to shine! Always say something to show you're paying attention and let everyone know you're #important by interrupting. Nothing to say? Repeat what someone said and add a question: "When you say 90% done, does it mean there's 10% left?" #ProTip #it #agile

[managerduck @managerduck]

People say "If you can only pay peanuts, you'll only get monkeys". I say, if you can only pay peanuts, #outsource your #projects to IT body shop #consulting firms operating in low income countries like #India and #Portugal! I may need to make it sound a bit catchier. #outsourcing

[managerduck @managerduck]

Note that step 2 is optional! If you're lucky enough that people were happy with step 1, then you don't need to waste more money! Use whatever's left to give yourself a bigger raise: afterall, you deserve it! Hell, they might even say you're the fairest of all #managers! #salary

[managerduck @managerduck]

Step 1 in giving raises: tell everyone, publicly, that you're giving the exact same small raise to all. Step 2: boost that small raise with a smaller raise, but disclose that privately to each person, mentioning they're special. They'll be happy with the crap raise! #manager #it

[managerduck @managerduck]

I feel that #DeepLearning, coupled with #NeuralNetworks, is radically changing the way we perceive #ArtificialIntelligence. Sounded impressive, didn't it? Hah, I was just following one of my sentence templates! Feel free to use it and let #buzzword magic impress other #managers!

[managerduck @managerduck]

Ran out of things to say? Here's a cool #tip! State something obvious while using the expression "First and foremost". Want an example? "#ProjectManagement is, first and foremost, about managing projects". See how easy that was? #ProTip #manager #managers #TipOfTheDay #speech #it

[managerduck @managerduck]

Here's another #ProTip for your next #presentation! Know nothing about the topic? No worries! Chill and ask the audience "What does <presentation topic> mean to you?". You can fill at least 15 minutes with it! #projectmanagement #projectmanager #TipOfTheDay #managers #computers