Amanda

A collection of sarcastic comments, and salty thoughts.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

There are people in the world whose kids have never had sugar by the time they’re 2, and here I am with my 1.5 year old who thinks the mascarpone filling for tiramisu is soup.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

I was scrolling through my instagram and I don’t think any of my friends did anything for NYE. Are we out of the era of guess who got a DUI last night?

I was always just sober on my couch like:

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

Does anyone else find it wildly misleading that @Blendtec has a “professional” blender where the warranty is voided when used in a professional setting?

3 months and $800 down the drain.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

I’ve seen a lot of tik toks of people going to bars dressed up as founding fathers and I feel like I really missed an opportunity.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

I had to ask a lady who was flipping off customers in our drive through to leave today, to which she replied, “I’ll leave this effing whore house.”

How’s your Election Day going? 😂

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

This week has literally been the week of crazy highs and lows. I feel like I smooth sailing mediocrity would do.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

If you’re the type of person who never complains in retail/ restaurant situations, honestly bless you. Thank you for existing.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

The new @Wrangler x @laineywilson jeans are so cute and fit so perfectly everywhere except the 2” gap on my waist. 😭😭😭 RIP

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

I just got asked to tip the appliance repair guy. Was I supposed to be doing this the whole time?

Can we just raise the price and get rid of the awkwardness?

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

People who run small businesses and drink chain/ corporate coffee are an anomaly to me. 🤦‍♀️

#friendsdontletfriendsdrinkchaincoffee

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

I never thought me not realizing someone else had pooped their pants in the car could lead to both of us having a breakdown until I had a baby.

#TheMoreYouKnow

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

My toxic trait is deciding to spend 5x the money to make something myself rather than just buying it.

Did I just buy supplies to make my own soap? Absolutely.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

My husband when he realizes the baby pooped in his diaper… “I should have faked a long back spasm.” 😂

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

My husband just told me to stop supporting him and just tell him what to do. 😂

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

I hate when my dogs continuously bark when someone is at the door. We all know I’m going to pretend I’m not home.

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

Watching marriage vs mortgage and literally in shock at how cheap these fancy houses from the early 2000s are 😳

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

One day you’re running around the beach in a bikini feeling all cute and the next you’re getting peed on while your baby is asleep and sitting in it because you don’t want to wake them up….

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

Not gonna lie one of my favorite things is scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and seeing people took photos of their Karma Coffees. ☕️❤️

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

House hunting in Oregon like…

[Amanda @mandapandaaaah]

@Kassidi11a