Mandi

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

I’m thinking Bonanza and caster oil share a lot of the same properties if you catch my drift 💩 stay tuned 👶🏼

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Pretty sure to be hired at the dmv you have to be a certain percentage of miserable.

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

First trimester pregnancy status: having to lay down in bed every 3-5 minutes while doing my hair and makeup because I’m just so exhausted 😴

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Today a first grader wearing cat ears called me a stupid fucker 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

‘‘Tis the season for me to be completely baffled that people are legitimately upset by the phrase “happy holidays”. 🙄

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Not even out of November and we’re on snow day #3 😐 goodbye summer vacation.

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

If I see one more dead deer on my Facebook 🤢

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Of course there’s a snow day when I’m away for a work conference 😑

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

https://t.co/nlOUibTJcu

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Life is really mean sometimes.

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

This year my therapy room is located across from the music room.. and it’s recorder season

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

HE CAME BACK FOR REVENGE

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

@amandarie Hahaha yes! Exactly!

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Feeling personally victimized by the spider in my car that charged at me, forcing me to frantically pull over on 202 & jump over and out of the passenger side all while screaming bloody murder. Also couldn’t find him after and had to drive the last 8 min home in pure terror🔪🕷

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

UNE has the audacity to call me at 8pm on a Tuesday to ask for a donation. Do you recall how much I owe you? Did you forget that I will die before I pay it back? Yea that’s gonna be a hard no from me.

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Me since 1pm

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Fished a bead out of a child’s nose today. How was your day?

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

Me: I love your drawing, tell me about it
Kindergartener: This is a picture of my brother having diarrhea

[Mandi @mandeliciouss]

If you’re ever having a slow morning, just lip sync every word to an Eminem song in the mirror. That’ll get the juices flowing.