Amanda

most tweets based in reality

[Amanda @mandneal]

I want someone to be as obsessed with me as the Philadelphia Parking Authority is

[rebekah @rebekah_e_s]

"my baby won't have screentime before they are two"

okay well my baby is watching columbo with me

[Nick Mullen @nycguidovoice]

(A mouse answering the phone) squeaking?

[sb @blatherwhick]

I’m doing the Stanford Prison Experiment for my bachelorette party

[Amanda @mandneal]

uber drivers who don’t play music have killed and will kill again

[Amanda @mandneal]

@ashjenexi we have everything on this list in common with the exception of the mfa ~ that’s why I love ur substack so much

[speedy ortiz ÷ sad13 ÷ sadie dupuis ÷ haunted guy @sad13]

i need you to know that they do say “stephen malkmus” in the barbie movie

[Amanda @mandneal]

@lorrrstens_ What? It’s comfortable. Especially when you’re also wearing a belt on the tightest notch

[Amanda @mandneal]

@embford15 Me on Christmas

[Amanda @mandneal]

girls who use their “I voted” sticker as an excuse to post a picture of their rack have perfect politics

[Amanda @mandneal]

I should be allowed to drive directly though city hall

[Amanda @mandneal]

@drewb0ardman you vs. the guy she tells you not to worry about

[Amanda @mandneal]

IG influencers trying to explain major historical events to us

[Amanda @mandneal]

the creation of adam by michaelangelo

[Amanda @mandneal]

@nycguidovoice this you?

[Amanda @mandneal]

there is no greater rush than selling my trash to simpletons on facebook marketplace

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

This is how all men speak to each other

[Amanda @mandneal]

amend the constitution to make gas station hot dogs a civil liberty

[Amanda @mandneal]

the most gracious response when someone apologizes for spilling a drink on you is to say “I’m sorry about your drink”