Couchman

not funny, don't follow me

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

I made one too. #BernieSanders #Berniememes #Bernie

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@charIiethehuman Yep

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@charIiethehuman Yeah! You're getting it

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Gonna start adding role playing asterisks into work emails.

"We look forward to your reply, have a good evening. *kisses forehead and tucks you in*

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@charIiethehuman It would just be any screen shot from Ozark with "It was then Michael knew he'd made a mistake"

[Megan Wise @MeganWiseWX]

Flooding on 95 near MM77 Chamberlayne exit 📸: Teresa Bruner @NBC12 #vawx

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Target having cupholders on their shopping carts is the most American thing I can think of.

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

What if we held hands in a Figma document?

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Them: Play me the song of your people.
Me:

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Oh hey, I asked the people at my internship if I could get proof of income to apply for an apartment. Their response was to hire me on the spot and now I have an amazing job that I love with all the benefits. Ya boy is lookin good.

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

From here on out "pre-gaming" will be referred to as "bar-intending".

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Holy SHIT i missed #HandmaidsTale

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@AlexFlightClub This new music video is so much better than the others.

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@AlexFlightClub Is this a butt joke?

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Thank you #joshfight. You all made my day.

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@AlexFlightClub Told ya so

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Hey hey, I'm 28 today

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

@hopedickle Dogville

[Couchman @manofthecouch]

Anyone else think it's weird how, like
*gestures at the country in general*