You have to learn the person you love.
You cannot love someone into being who you need them to be. You cannot assume you know them just because you feel deeply for them. You have to study them. You have to understand their personality, their wounds, their attachment style, their triggers, their unspoken fears, their love language, the way they process pain and joy and conflict. I learned this the hard way, by loving people I never truly took the time to know. I projected my own expectations onto them. I assumed they thought like me, needed like me, loved like me. And when they did not meet my unspoken expectations, I blamed them instead of realizing that I never actually learned who they were. That lesson cost me relationships. It cost me misunderstandings that could have been avoided. It cost me the pain of being in love with a version of someone that never really existed. But it also taught me that love is not just a feeling. It is a study. It is a commitment to truly knowing the person you claim to love. Not the idea of them. Not the potential of them. But the real, complex, flawed, beautiful human being standing in front of you. And once you learn them, you can truly love them. Not as a projection. But as a person.
So i started dating this guy who's "really into birds." Thought that meant he had a bird feeder or whatever. Showed up to his place for the first time. This man has SEVEN parrots. Seven. They all talk. They all have opinions. One of them heckled me during dinner. Called me "the new one" in a British accent for some reason. My boyfriend thinks it's charming. I'm being bullied by a bird named Gerald. Tried to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend last night and Gerald kept interrupting with "IRRELEVANT" in that same British accent. The other birds think Gerald is hilarious. They're learning from him. I'm outnumbered. My boyfriend proposed last week. Gerald said "she'll say no." I said yes out of spite. Gerald has been sulking for three days.
Two weeks after she ended things, although I was at fault because she caught me cheating, I was still in complete denial. Instead of giving her space like any sane person would, I decided I could “win her back” with one grand gesture. I scraped together what was left of my savings, rented a small event space and hotel in the city, hired a caterer for finger foods and drinks, and even had custom apology cards printed with a photo of us from happier times.
I told our mutual friends it was a “surprise reconciliation party” and begged them to get her there without spoiling it. I showed up that evening in my best shirt, with the whole pace all decorated with “I’m Sorry – Let’s Start Over” in elegant red lettering. I even bought her favorite flowers and that expensive perfume she always wore.
You don't matter. Shove your trust up your asshole.
All these because I said you cannot talk down on Tunde Onakoya's work. I'll restate it for clarity. You'll not talk down on Tunde's work. He has done so much for disprivileged kids, which is more than you and your ancestors put together have done for society. What is your contribution to society except being a nuisance?
It is easy to cast aspersion from shadows where you cannot be found. That is why you're anonymous - to be an irrelevant nuisance. Scandals may cast aspersions but they do not obligate you to answer to anyone. But I'm choosing to respond today because you people started with claiming I stole money for Baddy's surgery even though my only role was to raise the funds and he alone had access to all the money. Now you and your followers are subtly and overtly claiming I'm working for APC.
If I wanted to support this Government, I would have. Unlike you, I get approached from high places and I turn down money your father can't reject. What is the worst that would happen? You would drag me, which is what happens every 5 days anyway. But I have my values.
Some of us have principles and values, and regardless of whom we relate with, they respect our values and choices. The reason you have doubt is because you're easy sell out. If you had a measure of fame or influence of worth, you would have been useless. You are imposing your lack of character on me. Every APC person on this app would tell you Dickson would not collect money to support this government. If they throw that money at you, your papa fit reject am? Nobody is approaching you because you're irrelevant.
Tunde is being recognised home and abroad and in rooms you'll never enter. Who is recognising you? Irrelevant piece of shit!
Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic, and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth. #ApostolicJourney#Cameroon https://t.co/bKteFZ3iWE
Relationship serve both parties. Companionship is a two way street. It is important you choose someone you can live with and build a home with, so the companionship that is supposed to bless you, doesn't kill you.
Relationship does not prevent attraction. You'll always be attracted to other people as long as you breathe.
It is up to you ton decide whether you want to make that move inspite of your relationship or because of it.