He tried his tricks on me, expecting me not to notice, I think involving asking me about the panels/activities I'd been to while doing a butterfly-like gesture, but I was like "I know what you're doing and I like it"
Last night's problematic-but-hot kink dream involved being at some kind of nerd con (not a kink con) and encountering some guy doing stage magic + NLP + street hypnosis, wandering around doing those things to people without asking them (1/2)
@h_sleepingirl This is so good! I think I’ve had burnout moments in the past from trying to fit my various aspects into a single frame—like making the version of me who does yoga and who does art and who does nerdy stuff unified under some grand thesis until it was too restricting (1/2)
@MaraMerrigan If you want a serious (if switchy) answer:
- Play with people who can "top from the bottom" and make that part of the dynamic
- Learn what needs/desires you have as a top and ensure your scenes hit those buttons
- Daydream about stuff so you have less to figure out in-scene
@DommesticP@CharmedHypno@ZanyMo Oo, I ordered one on Etsy before the con (but forgot to wear it during the con, doh). Now I'll feel like I'm more old school whenever there's a new version out!
Charmed (my first in-person hypnosis con) was everything I spent the early pandemic dreaming about and wondering if I’d ever be able to experience. And more. I’ll be back next year for sure!
@h_sleepingirl This view leaves me open to taking his techniques and leaving the creepiness, but on the other hand, it's hard to know how much of his success to attribute to skill vs "charm", or even if those are really separable. Not gonna stop me reading either way, but feels complicated.
@h_sleepingirl I just started reading HR this weekend to get ready for Charmed! I've been doing a lot of thinking about my mental model that there are just some people who are very (naturally?) charismatic & manipulative (eg cult leaders), which is separate from any of their skills (cont)
@GleefulAbandon That my partner would be “farther away” from me in scenes if I tranced them—less responsive/fewer reactions, less present with me in a way that would feel bad. I’m very reaction-focused as a top so this kept me away for a while.