Riel Marais

[CCTV_IDIOTS @cctv_idiots]

Modern cars 🤣

[Sunshine @AnsTrublet]

When you're just about to pour your first Richelieu..... And She asks you to take the washing down...... If it's dry! 🤣😂🤣😂

[Mario Nawfal @MarioNawfal]

Two Amazon robots got stuck in an aisle, spending what appears to be an eternity shuffling back and forth because neither one could figure out who should move first.

This is what happens when you forget to teach a $200,000 robot to say "no, after you."

[Yusuf Abramjee @Abramjee]

Appeal for help identifying two people who left a restaurant at Cresta Mall without paying a bill of over R1,000 after enjoying a meal. Anyone with information is urged to come forward.

[Bebé @NoozBebe_]

#NOOZ
#BudgetSpeech

Godongwana said to you:

• We're doing better than 5 years ago. We're not junk anymore. And that junk status was COVID's fault and no one else's.
• The world can see that we've made South Africa great again.
• Let me tell you about what other countries are doing first, so that you can look into the mirror with a rosy filter.
• I will now do the divination ritual of my finance people. Looook into my eyes. Follow the sound of my forecasting voice and be spellbound.
• Fiscal.
• Projection.
• Markets
• Percentages.
• Vuuuulindlela wemaMgobhozi... we're doing great.
• You paid more tax than we expected you to. So, you know what? We won't burden you further.
• But we will burden you further.
• Tax free investments will be increased. That means whatever you think it means.
• If you're a small business, your "you're still poor" cap goes from R1m to R3.5m.
• Cigarette, cigars prices up.
• Beer, Cider, wine all up.
• Fuel levy up
• RAF levy up
• SARS is doing great at our borders. Yes illicit tobacco is seeping in, but that's not my problem.
• Task team for unclaimed riches.
• If you use crypto to commit crimes, err.. we're not happy with you. That is all.
• We will release R12bn for a vague project.
• Social grants fraud is rife. But we will continue.
• Our kids are redundant in skills. So, we're looking into it with money. We won't tell you what we'll do though.
• Social grants. Yes of course. Up and up. Here's a joke about grannies... why aren't you laughing? Here's R80 extra for grannies and grandpas. You get an R80, you get an R80, everybody gets an R80.
• More money for the soldiers and whoever is trained to kill. Here's R200 odd billion for the year. That should do it.
• We'll spend on trains.
• SABC, eish...
• Basic education (for our redundant kids) will be financed. Will things change? No. Don't be silly.
• On health, stop with the HIV, guys. Anyway, we have the money for it. Don't worry.
• Local government is corrupt. So, here's more money to help you to not be so corrupt. We will incentivise you for doing what you should be doing anyway. Please just do it.
• Johannesburg doesn't have water and the money tap is dry. It's not my problem though.
• Infrastructure.
• Do you know how much a trillion is? It's a trillion.
• See how inclusive I am? I called out Minister Groenewald by name.
• The NHI is coming. Like it or not.
• Thank you to everyone who has helped me to make this economy great again. Here are a few more jokes about my colleagues and personal life. Why aren't you laughing?
• Most importantly, I want to thank the commissioner of SARS. My chief henchman, my sidekick, my main schoolground bully.
• Speaking of which, GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY RIGHT NOW!

[Global Insight Journal @GlobalIJournal]

Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum addresses Trump:

“So, you voted to build a wall…
Yes, Americans, even if you don’t understand geography very well—since for you America is not a continent but your country—it is important to know that before the first bricks are laid, there are 7 billion people on the other side of that wall.

But since you do not understand the term ‘people,’ we will call them ‘consumers.’

There are 7 billion consumers ready, in less than 42 hours, to replace their iPhones with Samsung or Huawei devices.

They can also replace Levi’s with Zara or Massimo Dutti.

In less than six months, we can easily stop buying Ford or Chevrolet vehicles and replace them with Toyota, KIA, Mazda, Honda, Hyundai, Volvo, Subaru, Renault, or BMW—vehicles that are technically better than those you produce.

These 7 billion people can also cancel their DirectTV subscriptions, and although we do not want to do this, we can stop watching Hollywood films and start watching higher-quality Latin American or European productions with real messages, cinema, and content.

It may sound unbelievable, but we can skip Disney and go to Xcaret Resort in Cancun, Mexico, Canada, or Europe.

There are other wonderful destinations in South America, East America, and Europe.

Believe it or not, even in Mexico there are burgers better than McDonald’s, with better nutritional content.

Has anyone seen pyramids in the United States?
There are pyramids with incredible cultures in Egypt, Mexico, Peru, Guatemala, Sudan, and other countries.

Learn where you can find the wonders of the ancient and modern world…

None of that exists in the United States…

Shame on Trump—he would buy and sell all of this!

We know that not only Nike exists, but Adidas as well, and we can start wearing Mexican sneakers like Panam.

We know more than you think.

For example, we know that if 7 billion consumers stop buying your products, there will be unemployment and economies will collapse—to the point that you will beg us to tear down that ugly (racist) wall.

We didn’t want this, but…

If you want a wall,
you will get a wall…

(It is said that Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum has no such statement, but whoever wrote it deserves applause.)

[Trades Union Congress @The_TUC]

A Dutch worker went viral after explaining to their American boss that they have a life outside of work.

[Barney Simon @BarneySimon]

#Educarion

[DutchNews.NL @DutchNewsNL]

Number of murder victims in the Netherlands drops below 100 https://t.co/J4O7T3uXSj

[Jdp @jdpkru]

My fok Marelize...
Hugo-bel die polisie 🙆

[Vusi Sambo @VusiSambo]

A friend of thugs isn’t necessarily a thug💁🏽‍♂️

Our majestic President Cyril Ramaphosa, for example, formally became an ANC member in Feb 1990, following its unbanning by the apartheid government. He has been hanging out with ANC thugs for a good 35 years & counting—& he remains a good guy. He is worth over R8 billion through pure hardwork & ethical business dealings.

So good even the DA loves him because “He is different & stuff. Unlike Duduzile’s dad…”🥰🤗

[Ian Cameron @IanCameron23]

Today’s High Court ruling vindicates JP Smith and exposes the unlawful raid on his office for what it really was, a gross abuse of police power.

For years JP has driven Cape Town’s fight against gangs and drug lords, building a capacity that protects residents where national policing has failed. That work clearly threatened powerful interests.

When police units are twisted into tools for political smear campaigns instead of crime-fighting, the damage to public trust is immense. South Africans deserve a SAPS that hunts criminals, not one that harasses those confronting them.

The task ahead is to restore integrity, rebuild credibility and ensure that no unit of SAPS is ever again reduced to a weapon against justice.

Jy is ‘n yster JP!

IC

[NL Times @NL_Times]

Dutch government plans new cut to expat tax break to collect €20 million more per year https://t.co/ZOgyZofODH

[Vusi Sambo @VusiSambo]

As much as I’m just shocked that any normal, sane human out there still uses the SA Post Office to courier international parcels—unprovoked, it’s actually s smart counterattack by our majestic President Cyril Ramaphosa, Young Ronald & team😀

My view is that we should up the ante as South Africa. Just 2 weeks of no exports of Mrs Balls Chutney; Ouma’s Rusks; Rooibos Tea; Amarula & Biltong to the US will have Donald Trump begging us for an urgent roundtable discussion🤨

[AFP News Agency @AFP]

VIDEO: As temperatures touch 50C, Dubai runners turn to indoor races.

As temperatures soar outside, a sprawling shopping centre in Dubai echoes to the squeak of sneakers as hundreds of people join a "Mallathon" -- an indoor, air-conditioned race

[CCTV_IDIOTS @cctv_idiots]

Worlds shortest story 😂

[Adrian Saville @AdrianSaville]

7.45 on a Friday night. This isn't about market share, it's about misunderstanding bank charges/fees. Maybe it’s time to close the knowledge gap?

[Zapiro @zapiro]

Zapiro cartoon published on @dailymaverick (12 July 2025) on Powwow @CyrilRamaphosa @SAPoliceService - https://t.co/qDOMRayTfy

[Cliff - That's All @PigSpotter]

They're more concerned about the fake notes, than they are about the corrupt pigs taking bribes.