ska

[hi @Chainbody]

adam22 said if i can delete all the pedophile tweets by tonight he might start paying me for my internship

[Philosopher Bean @BeanPhilosopher]

Dear @LidlUS

My name is Bean. I eat peanut butter and jelly English muffins for three meals a day.

Back in February, my mom bought 72 jars of your peanut butter when it was on sale for 78 cents a jar. I numbered each jar.

[Dan Briggs @danbriggsx]

Everyone meet Amphilimna Intersepultosetme; our 67 million year old brittle star friend who shares our name.

[two men in a trenchcoat @starfyplush]

in ‘baby driver’ (2017) the words ‘baby’ and ‘driver’ appear on the screen. this is a reference to the fact that the movie is called ‘baby driver’

[User of the App @swamp_land]

@kulturalmarx I like how they left the damn out of the closed captions either because they realised how insanely lame that sounds to say or to not offend their demographic of grandmas

[Coffin Joe @zappaneese]

@charliekirk11 @KyleKashuv That was a debate?

[The Hard Times @REALpunknews]

The Next Car Seat Headrest? This Depressed English Major Is Mumbling to Himself https://t.co/lCTEmSSfst

[ᶜᵒⁿˢᵗᵃⁿᵗⁱⁿᵉ @greenIight]

quirky girls be like: “i love vine so much hehe why don’t people get my references”

the references:
1. road work ahead yeah i sure hope it does
2. what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fucking learned how to read
3. is that a weed
4. stop i could’ve dropped my croissant
5. yeet

[illy bocean @IllyBocean]

nothing shows optimism for humanity’s long future like saying “fuck it” and digging up a time capsule from 1993

[Zack Fox @zackfox]

Moses: y’all it’s right around the corner let’s dip

Egypt
📍
📏 (40 year walk)
📏
📏
📍the promised land

[j.d. durkin @jd_durkin]

imagine being the guy who holds a puppy like such a monster that Vladimir Putin has to come in and save the day

[25_male_nyc @25_male_nyc]

lisa why did u lie about having a 4 year old who can speak in complete sentences

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

This is my favorite thing I’ve ever seen on Facebook

[FOX 32 News @fox32news]

HE'S BAAA-AACK! The massive gator that went viral at the Buffalo Creek Golf Course in Florida was spotted on Valentine's Day taking a stroll with some of his pals. #squadgoals Nice to see you, Chubbs! https://t.co/1Ylm4n8BmY