dee 🌸

she/her/that nigga. no famz who no famz you.
founder: @wematterng

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

just launched my substack:
https://t.co/c3hYbJKTS9

i'll be writing essays on identity, healing, and rewriting survival scripts. first drop this friday.

visual excerpts + messy drafts on IG → @dees.perspective

[𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒾𝓊𝓂 @waithera_jk]

In Franz Kafka’s letter to his father, he wrote “I know it is my father's first time on this Earth, too. And I know He had it worse when he was little. But I was little too”

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

I can't believe I'll have a one year old by the end of this month. What I especially can't believe is that I still find myself, in the middle of the night, checking to make sure she's breathing 🫣😭 I think my mother might have been right when she said it doesn't really ever stop

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

have you ever realised you were the surplus? the one absorbing what should have forced redesign?

new essay live on substack:
the architecture of withdrawal

https://t.co/GJRptAdFYQ

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

it's the gap between knowing what you need and trusting that knowing is enough.

internal authority is when you stop performing reasonableness to justify your boundaries.

external approval/validation can no longer be the metric.

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

you know you're still seeking external validation when:
- you set a boundary and immediately start explaining why it's reasonable
- you make a decision and scan the room to see who noticed
- you advocate for yourself and then soften it with "but I understand your perspective too"

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

- you enforce a standard and feel guilty when it's inconvenient for someone else

the approval reflex doesn't look like begging. it looks like over-explanation. like making your clarity digestible. like converting your authority into something that can be negotiated.

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

you explain clearly.
you regulate first.
you zoom out.
you track patterns.
you soften tension.

while you think that makes the relationship safer, it might just be making it uneven.

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

if you’re the “emotionally intelligent” one in your relationships, this might be for you

🧵

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

just launched my substack:
https://t.co/c3hYbJKTS9

i'll be writing essays on identity, healing, and rewriting survival scripts. first drop this friday.

visual excerpts + messy drafts on IG → @dees.perspective

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

have you ever realised you were the surplus? the one absorbing what should have forced redesign?

new essay live on substack:
the architecture of withdrawal

https://t.co/GJRptAdFYQ

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

if you’re the “emotionally intelligent” one in your relationships, this might be for you

🧵

[dee 🌸 @mardeemoves]

when i stopped stabilising, the system wobbled. that wobble is information.

[Jay Alto @theJayAlto]

you pity the moth confusing a lamp for the moon, yet here you are confusing a screen for the world