Maria.

boy mom.

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

I ain’t no maid

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

Same

[JJ Watt @JJWatt]

8:43am on a Monday Morning:
Random craving for a Chicago-style hot dog.

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

The end of Armageddon gets me every time 😭😭

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

I mainly love Kiss My Country Ass for the piano riff. There’s just something about it. @blakeshelton #kissmycountryass

[A ࣪ ִֶָ☾.࣪ ִֶָ @anneteluceroo]

This will never not be funny

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

Whoever made this doesn’t know about spotted cow & summer shandy

[Scott  @SNoland10]

what do you guys think?

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

I’m 5lbs away from being “pre Mav” which means I’m down 20lbs so yeah I actually enjoyed being weighed at the doctor today

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

the grass is always greener in someone else’s joint #jakeowen #kidrock

[ʝυℓєs @juliettelise]

The man that was driving was driving under the influence at 7:30 IN THE MORNING and walked away without a scratch while he literally decapitated a person and left many others critically injured. STOP DRINKING AND FUCKING DRIVING.

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

Classy https://t.co/092Mid39Ex

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

Classy

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

there’s nothing better than line dried towels. don’t @ me

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

@LibbyJHansen Truth

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

I’m a big sucker for spicy pickles and stuffed olives

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

@ADubb1010 @TheAshleysRR I agree.

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

Everything at Miller Park

[Dan Clark @DanClarkSports]

What’s your favorite food to eat while watching baseball?

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

@ADubb1010 @TheAshleysRR Because she’s young and doesn’t understand. I went through similar at her age and I never opened up because it was traumatizing. Whenever I did, I wasn’t believed. There could be a number of things.

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

@CatelynnLowell Nah girl, that’s a nice cover up tho. If this were the case, you’d had said that to begin with and not dig at Mackenzie

[Maria. @maria_mortimer]

@Lil_Sammmii I’m sure you’re only stressing because it’s wedding week. If this were happening any other week, you’d handle it like a champ. Breathe 😘