Maria Russell

everyone’s favorite third wheel

[trish @ultragloss]

all of the friends are getting offed on day 1. schmidt and jeff get sponsors but go crazy by the end of the first week. april kills jess first chance she gets. troy and abed ally with april and make it close to the end but not quite. its down to ron swanson and annie edison

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

This is the correct answer

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

My people

[charlie @chunkbardey]

HATE watching horror movies, LOVE reading horror movie plot summaries

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

Yes, except the seltzer is a beer and then welcome to my office folks

[nikita richardson @nikitarbk]

the holy trinity of desk drinks is a big water, a two-hour-old iced coffee and a flavored seltzer.

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

A masterpiece

[Penny Pigtails @Tracey_Ann_C]

We've all been there, little pepper, all been there x

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

Wasn’t trying to face this tonight but okay here we go

[m @msnetik]

Do you ever just see a photo of food you made in lockdown and remember the exact level of emotional fragility you were at when you cooked it

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

@justcallmeurn The power you hold

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

Had me in the beginning… then lost me… then had me again

[Emily Nussbaum @emilynussbaum]

Weird to rewatch Seinfeld bc JS is a bad actor, Kramer isn’t all that funny & yet George and Elaine are the most hilarious, watchable actors/characters ever to appear on TV

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

@bbg1995 I’ll coach ya let’s go lady

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

@bbg1995 Ummm?!?

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

@bbg1995 Me to my SIL this whole weekend

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

@bbg1995 Thots and prayers for you

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

After every deep sigh I expect swelling strings and a slow zoom. Like you’re telling me that’s her normal speaking cadence???

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

Miss Amber Heard putting on the performance of her life today like this courtroom is part of a CW show

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

Was just rudely reminded it’s apparently my 10-year Twitter anniversary so yes I will be spiraling this sweet Thursday

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

@bbg1995 Ok i almost bought the Armani today but panicked and didnttttt

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

Now I’m listening to tenacious d happy unhinged Friday to all

[Maria Russell @mariarussell23]

A celine dion song just came on shuffle at my office and now I’m crying writing an email like someone just broke my heart everyone look away