Mariel Markl

Always late but worth the wait

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

@luis08diaz Sponsor me so i can systematically dump their drinks into a dumpster

[KAI @ended_everyone]

this song could wake me up from a coma i’m so serious

[pinky lemon @xpinkylemonx]

the key to Wawa’s impeccable design is the 360 degree Nicotine Command Center

[trash jones @jzux]

tired of age gap discourse. now let’s do vibes gap discourse, where one person in a couple lights up a room and the other is basically a sim

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

@ItsWiznat Im not down that bad

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

After surviving my day at work eating only half of a week old stale panera baguette for breakfast, i crawled home to snack on a piece of cheese like the little rat i am

[tatum @planetgraves]

Babe do you remember our first ever bit together

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

Thinking about how I’m going to convince my caregiver when I’m old and dying that it is absolutely IMPERATIVE she still applies my fake eyelashes every day

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

How do yall tell if ur going insane? Is it like an all at once thing or a slow burn type bit? Asking for a friend

[aj @_ajjiaa]

PLEASE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING AND LOOK AT THE MANS FAVORITE “CHILDHOOD” DRINK

Lmfaooooooooo

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

“Grandma got the arthritis in her hand BAD” is the hardest bar ever

[billiam @BillRatchet]

i know it's friday but ima start a thread where i tweet this every thursday from now on https://t.co/PbbejQEBGl

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

@luis08diaz Gross

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

@luis08diaz Why r u lurking

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

No one be alarmed...but I'm getting married👰💍

[Mesh🇧🇧 @rahsh33m]

It’s how he rose back up that’s taking me tf out 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

@ehutchhh I really wanted to take everyone on that journey with me as a way to process it bc jfc

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

Today all i wanted was fried eggs but as i pulled the bottle of oil out of the cabinet it slipped from my hands and smashed on my counter and i got 33oz of olive oil everywhere instead. A fresh, newly opened bottle.

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

So there i am, tears running down my face, half naked, as i clean my mess. When i finish i don’t have enough time to shower before my appointment so i show up late, smelling of olive oil, and able to literally slide off the table.

[Mariel Markl @marielmarkl]

I am literally sliding around my kitchen through olive oil trying to clean it up because i have a PT appointment in an hour. I start crying and in a fit of rage i take off my shirt and use it to mop up the olive oil. Idk why don’t ask