I think that elf on the shelf is weird. When we were little my dad would just tell us that he had Santa's phone number (1-800-HoHoHo) and that he would call him and tell him to skip our house. Straight fear
update: i did it. a lady was apparently reading over my shoulder and commented on the big words. i think she saw either gluconeogenesis or fructose-1,6-biphosphatase.