Marinarakis

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

One more thing I can say about: “ Sasha Grey do it better than me”. #sashagrey #Food #humour

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

Broke up with boyfriend because he always said “you are so bad, but I love you whatever”. I don’t need a man for that. If I want to hear it, I’ll call my mom.

#relationships #humor #love

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

Alien 4 is a soap opera.

#humor #film #ALIEN

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

My friend bought a snake print blouse.
I: "Oooo, you look so predatory!"
She: "Looks like I swallow."

#humor #dresses #snake

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

me: I'm spoiling my boyfriend with cooking and having sex

also me: I'm worrying the boyfriend is dating me only for #food and #sex

#love #humor #relationship

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

A wild stray #cat living near my office allowed itself to be stroked, and even purred.
But very quiet so no one hears that she has feelings.

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

I was dating with two guys at the same time. One of them was handsome, another - smart. I couldn't choose between them.

In the end I broke up with handsome guy, and smart guy broke up with me.

#humor #love #Cheating #relationships

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

I don't like reheating yesterday's food, so always try to cook exactly one meal. But it's always an extra portion.

For my imaginary friend, I guess.

#humour #food

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

If you get tired of your job, it doesn't excite you anymore, you should go to an interview and try to impress somebody new.
Even if you will not get new job, you will feel passion again.
It's like a sex in marriage.

#humor #marriage #Jobs

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

#humor #love #breakup

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

Friend:
- My wife uses foul language in bed.
I:
- Is she say "Ooo, f*ck me harder!" or "What the f*ck are you doing?"
Friend:
- Actually, she says "Stop snoring, asshole!"

#humor #sex #humorous

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

In Belarus, if you are 30 year old woman, in your parent's opinion you not adult enough for independent life, but too old for pregnancy.

#humor

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

I don't like "real man", who knows what he wants. He definitely wants not me.

#humor

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

About my makeup skills. Friend said: "You look amazing. New highlighter?"
I: "It's sweat"

#humor

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

The purchasing manager said in the morning: "We have a problem with delivery of female screws.
Сustoms needs information about its application. What do I have to response?"

#humor

[Marinarakis @marinarakis1]

Surveillance level: I have gained only 3kg and they sent me e-mail "Elegance dresses Plus Size! Half-price!"

#humor