jedi master cornelius

water drinker

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

Can’t talk rn watching oceans 8 and it’s the part where sandra bullock is assembling the team

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

gonna take a shot of dayquil and nyquil at the same time and go fight crime for a bit tonight

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

shoutout to whoever was responsible for making eggs cheap again

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

@MsMcBasketball just redownloaded twitter after a year it’s good to see you’re still at it 🙏🏼 this is a good tweet

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

im jedi master cornelius in case you forgot

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

getting caught red handed stemmed from a thief stealing flaming hot cheetohs and forgetting to wash his hands im like 60 percent sure

[Chester Cheetah @ChesterCheetah]

been tinkering lately. just straight up dabbling

[Chester Cheetah @ChesterCheetah]

been doing a lot of **** *** **** * ****** lately

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

happy thanksgiving to C3PO only

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

texting happy thanksgiving to every girl ive ever kissed

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

who is your celeb crush mine is C3PO

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

they went off when they named Miércoles

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

does Antarctica even have a government ? Are there rules or regulations of any kind there ?

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

handing the cashier my debit card and saying “can you see how much is left on this”

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

if i were president i would make it so only burger king was allowed to advertise

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

i forgot to say “it’s gonna be may” in a justin timberlake accent on april 30th and no i gotta wait a whole year 😡😡

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

can’t believe i just had to pay turbo tax $180 to tell me that I owe the government $500

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

me sliding up on everyone’s instagram story with their SO wishing them happy valentine’s day cuz i’m a great guy

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

don cheadle in kendrick lamar DNA video

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

mr pilot to mrs pilot: let’s name him pontius what could go wrong

[jedi master cornelius @mark___house]

give jack harlow a break you wouldn’t be able to perform well with covid either