Matt Felgen (official)

cheese hound

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

@JMMackattack The full name of the movie is actually “Don’t Look Up How They Already Solved This Exact Same Problem in The Movie Armageddon”

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

The best part of working from home is I’m just microwaving fish all day

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

When did every bar of soap start having oatmeal in it

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

You rarely see someone get to be the main character on here for more than one day. Truly impressive

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

@DanielDingus More like Emily Embarrass (ingly bad) !

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

Sorry this is really bad but I’ve super busy all day sorry

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

I accidentally do this once every 6 months

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

@DanielWinn Other than rampant disinformation, I think this is the single biggest miss of twitter as a platform

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

Tfw the cheddar has been cave-aged for 24 months

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

I’ve been watching The Americans and it seems like it’s always wintertime? I’m guessing it’s some sort of allegory

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

You open your wife’s notebook and see this. What do you do?

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

I feel like I am always plugging things in with wet hands but I am almost never getting electrocuted 🤔

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

*Perfect crime shit!

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

Whomever invented “natural” peanut butter must be laughing so hard. Twice as expensive, absolute nightmare to use, and the jar always has a gross oil coating on it no matter what you do. Truly the prefect crime.

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

One thing covid has taught me is that you can stick things significantly farther up your nose than I was led to believe as a child

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

As far as I can reasonably tell, every movie that’s been made since 2004 features a sufjan stevens song with around 15 minutes left

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

I guess that in the end, the Queen’s Gambit was really all the friends she made along the way

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

Say what you will about Scandinavians, don’t say they don’t have a simple yet elegant taste for interior design

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

Just discovered a 1/4 teaspoon that’s been hiding in the dishwasher for quite a while. Welcome back to the world little buddy, things are not going well

[Matt Felgen (official) @markfeigen]

@nancyalligood $130 is a FEAST at LHS