Mark Pengilly

Comedian out of hibernation doing 'Type Up' comedy & public copyrighting.Not sayin' there's a dearth of paid gigs but..I'm a Volunteer Comedian!

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

If you want to know why I don't pick up cow turds, let's just say 'what happens on the field, stays on the field'. #cows #farms #animals #cowpats

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

A virus that originates on a cruise ship?! My guess? A captain with poor diction: "All hanta on deck!" #Hantavirüs #HantaVirusPandemicReceipts

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

(Thinks) Winnie-the-Pooh, Paddington, Yogi, Smokey, Grizzly, Fozzie and of course...my Teddy!! (Bear in mind). #Bears

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

Last night, I dreamt I was wandering around lost in an alley. I must have been a bit 'out of it' because I asked an anaesthetic syringe for directions and it said: "Sorry, I'm not a local." #dreams

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

To those people who reckon their favourite word is 'buoyancy' I say: "Whatever floats your boat."

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

To those people financially brave enough to install extra solar panels I say: "More power to you!!" #Costofliving

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

I once had a friend who kept wagging lectures to go to Roman style orgies or as he called them 'Extra Caligula Activities'. #orgies #studies

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

If only my skull was made of paper. Then I could wrap my head around anything. #Understand #Comprehend

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

February 14 today? Which marketing brainwashing are we celebrating? Oh really? How romantic. OK...Happy unfortunate acronym!! #ValentinesDay2026 #Valentine

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

About a month ago, my doctor said that (for my health and fitness) I should start taking supplements. Now I'm stuck with these piles of newspaper inserts! #supplements #vitamins

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

For me, 2026 will be the beginning of a new ira!!

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

To remain alert, attentive, and ready for anything that might happen, I've taken up ballet. If nothing else, it keeps me on my toes. #ballet #BalletDancer

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

I've forgotten it's name, but I keep running out of that culinary herb that's made from an aromatic plant that has greyish-green leaves! Hopefully, it's just a sage that I'm going through. #Herbs #Cooking #recipes

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

A trick or treating teenage babe 'from the streets' marched into a tattoo parlour, flashed her 'well developments and said: "If youse don't do both of these for free, I'm gonna break all ya windows!" Translation: Tatts for tits or tit for tat! #Halloween #HalloweenHavoc #Street

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

At school, I didn't get straight 'A's. Mine were shaped more like an arrowhead. #school #Exams

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

What type of gags would I do at a Reincarnation convention? Hmm...mainly call backs... #reincarnation #comedyvibes #Rebirth

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

A farmer is refusing to harvest the corn he is growing. When asked why, he said that, being an ex-footballer, 'what happens on the field, stays on the field'. #corn #farmer #footballdrama

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

An ex-footballer now a farmer is refusing to sell the corn he is growing. When asked why he just quoted 'what happens on the field, stays on the field'.

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

Decisions decisions. Which anaesthetic do I choose? Local or general? No matter...ether will do.

[Mark Pengilly @markpengilly]

AI acknowledges the Traditional Owners of all creativity throughout the world. It, however, pays no respect to the people and their cultures of the past and present...