lyss⁰²

#MARK: STRAIGHT FACTS

[lyss⁰² @marksleftelbow]

just this

[sage @spherection]

listening to the same olivia rodrigo song twenty times in a row

[Luka | Shen Jiu Plushy Soon @LuLuviahhh]

American Alphas be like: No, baby, I can’t breed you full of pups. Our current administration banned contraceptives for Omegas because it goes against your nature apparently. Also, our healthcare is shit. How can we even afford pups when we can’t even afford new nesting material?

[darian @darian___]

drinks on me tonight friends imma dispute the charges on monday

[vel~☆ #HEALED @velvetpatche]

like this???

[Geraldo @voiceofgeraldo]

Lying about my birthday at chilis, getting caught, then escalating into a suicide by cop situation

[spooky weenie hut jrs ⁷ 🍉 @tatigabriellee]

the concept of beyonce being at a jackson wang party

[Josh @arcdke4]

Kinda scared for 2027.
2+0+2+7 is 11. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 9 more nipples

[miss understood @sonotsoul]

Ppl will make an imessage sticker out of yo ass if u not looking

[john¹²⁷ 🛩️ @computercart]

one thing about sm they'll chop up a nose but the piano keys stay in the studio

[keegan @Keegan59992745]

Me when my burrito starts ticking after I say something negative about Israel

[send help @himitsunobarade]

Dear Americans, this week's compromised type of FOOD is *spins the wheel* ICE CREAM that has been contaminated with *spins the wheel* STONES

[Bruno Mars @BrunoMars]

Yo I want in on this twitter Beef!! VMAs is the new WWF!! @edsheeran Fuck You!

[. @furyofthegodz]

This entire group going from TikTok skits to their own Netflix shows and SNL is sick

[MAGAlovesPEDOS @crunchyface74]

Staffer: Sir, the dog had a minor incident on the couch

Kash Patel: Did someone say dog?

JD Vance: Couch?

Trump: Minor?

[mint @unresolvedmint]

uk might disband, and super junior continues to be the last man standing

[CRANK IT 2 THE MAX @f4gg0t_666]

DOLLY PARTON REINCARNATED AS LADY GAGA’S CHILD

[o @acquaintf8]

LA has potholes because Karen Bass gave pay raises to the LAPD so they can fly helicopters all day and live in Santa Clarita

[spillursweetener @spillursweetnr]

Whos heart is still beating?

[ابو سارادا 🇸🇩🇹🇩🇳🇪🇱🇾 @SomaliSasuke]

i fucked up already wallahi 2 A.K will be my year

[Sharty Supreme (evil) @trashjuiceprism]

so sick of woke fuck you im not saying happy kirkidays it's merry kirkmas and if you don't like it you can kirk yourself