Mark Talaga

My kids have access to my Twitter. 111:::fart fart dumbo butt&@3

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@BidetMon Amen 🚽

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@sharknado @mr_mccabe @jjaybeans @TheDiscoPony HOLY CANNOLI

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@Delta This is what you get when you pay for Wi-Fi? Was hoping to get some work done and ended up being nostalgic for a 28.8k dial-up modem.

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

Lisa Gilroy radiates pure chaotic energy and I love it.

[Lisa Gilroy @TheLisaGilroy]

Guy who heard a woman has never done shrooms

[⚜️bradley⚜️ @bradapalooza]

Dr. Leo Spaceman from 30 Rock deserves his own Better Call Saul

[Trent Mell @TrentMell]

On my way to New York for a certain bell closing ceremony on Wednesday - proud of the team for getting this done in record time! #teamwork #EVs #Sustainability

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

This guy had no problem waiting at the stop light. Probably thought it was a wonderful amount of TIME.

@ComedyBangBang @neilerdude @ScottAukerman

[Draw Me A Pixel @DrawMeAPixel]

✨ GIVEAWAY✨

To celebrate 1 year of #ThereIsNoGameWrongDimension on #NintendoSwitch, win a non-game key for Switch!

To enter:
- Follow us @drawmeapixel
- RT this tweet

2 winners, ends on 04/28
Open to all countries where the game is available
Good luck users 🍀

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@jspujji @RomeenSheth @readwise Save thread

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@G_Riedel @JesseThorn That was my other favorite line I almost posted! 😂😂😂

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@JesseThorn Liz: I’m going to be on TV this week.
Dr. Spaceman: TV? I think you mean radio.

[Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA]

he looks like if Tom Brady gave up all his Super Bowl rings to Ursula

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@unusual_whales Aren’t 35% of Americans Trump supporters.

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@unusual_whales Someone’s holding airline puts.

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

With the market white hot & Tom Brady returning to football, I know there’s an inflation/deflate-gate joke here that I’m not smart enough to make.

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@rejectedjokes Yesssss!!!!! Wanna get gassed up? Lemme hear that Frog theme 🐸

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@Fredbenz0 Do it for $VMEO then

[Mark Talaga @marktalaga]

@ToreGrasso @unusual_whales Most of our fertilizer comes from Morocco and I’ll guarantee we’ll find a way to import from Canada’s stores. We don’t need Russia for much of anything other than their oil.

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

I was able to cut my gas bill to $0 by buying a $100k electric vehicle

[katie kadue @kukukadoo]

the last word of each line of this george herbert poem is in all caps because that’s when the beastie boys chime in