marlowe ⛸️

AuDHD ❄️ uncensored sh/under 13/nsfwtwt dni 🐇 main: @marlowerecov

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

🪡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐞 .ᐟ

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

hi gang the relapse urges are strong

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

i ate well over 2k calories yesterday and lost an entire pound i genuinely don’t understand what’s going on

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

I feel like I’ve been eating so much I don’t understand how I haven’t gained very much weight yet . Part of me is happy and it shouldn’t be but part of me is anxious that I’m not recovering right , maybe I was right that I’m fat because if this is the weight where my body -

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

naturally settles then I must’ve been obese to be eating that far over it for so long

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

I feel like I’ve been eating so much I don’t understand how I haven’t gained very much weight yet . Part of me is happy and it shouldn’t be but part of me is anxious that I’m not recovering right , maybe I was right that I’m fat because if this is the weight where my body -

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

I mean I’m eating very little over maintenance so I am slowly gaining weight but I’m working out and hoping it’s mostly muscle.. def have to gain more weight but it’s scary

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

who knew that if I eat at MAINTENANCE my body actually MAINTAINS my weight and stabilizes… crazy news guys… I didn’t actually gain 3 billion pounds…

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

@AutumnsFavGirl I did! :)

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

Haven’t eaten nearly enough today but I genuinely have no appetite or desire to eat anything and I’m wondering if that’s my body balancing out the fact I ate 3.5k cals yesterday . I thought recovery would make me binge and binge til I was bmi 29 again but maybe not?

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

Ok I took a shower and got a drink and am laying in bed in my heated blanket I’m feeling better now I am not going to relapse everything is going to be okay

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

I feel disgusting I haven’t showered in a week because I can’t stomach looking at myself naked, last night I washed my hair in the bathroom sink

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

i don’t think i can ever be happy with my body so what’s the point in trying lol

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

I’m already so flabby if I gain more fat I will relapse

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

I don’t think I’ll be able to make it through recovery unless the weight gain is mostly muscle gain but I don’t fucking know how to work out properly every single video I come across is “you’re doing it wrong! this way is wrong! that way is wrong!” And I have no gym access

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

Maybe recovery isn’t for me I’ve only gained 5 lbs and i absolutely detest how my body looks right now

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

shaking the walls of my enclosure

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

bangs my head against a wall cutely

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

Maybe recovery isn’t for me I’ve only gained 5 lbs and i absolutely detest how my body looks right now

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

@Fr0ggbee

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

i really don’t want to eat dinner 🫩 but i need to but nothing sounds good and i already feel so guilty about what i ate today

[marlowe ⛸️ @marlowemallow]

@AutumnsFavGirl I requested on my new account !