Marti

someone get a broom because I’m a mess

[Marti @marticus0305]

What sane person looks at a bathroom stall door and says “you know what I’m gonna write something”

[Marti @marticus0305]

At chick fil a looking like a hobo. The guy insisted I get a brownie and I said you know what yes.

[Marti @marticus0305]

Just saw two depressing tik toks in a row. I’m gonna take that as a sign that I should just not. You know? Kk bye besties

[Marti @marticus0305]

Life motto of the day: you know what that’s fine.

[Marti @marticus0305]

Some kind of “sugar daddy” tried to slide in my DMs. I only have one question…when did I ask? Like no gtfo

[Marti @marticus0305]

Sty on eye. End me

[Marti @marticus0305]

I literally woke up to the most gnarliest Charlie horse of my life. I’ve truly experienced pain

[Marti @marticus0305]

Dating apps are so stupid because like if you’re like me and hate small talk it’s just like a waste of time. So like basically I’m gonna be alone forever is my point here. that’s all

[Marti @marticus0305]

Wanna play two player Crossy Road? @kaylinglassner

[Marti @marticus0305]

You ever wake up and just feel Fleetwood Mac vibes. No? Just me? Okay

[Marti @marticus0305]

What’s up with all these shark ads

[Marti @marticus0305]

Again..why.

[Marti @marticus0305]

Why

[Marti @marticus0305]

Took some old clothes to uptown and got 7$ why am I not surprised

[Marti @marticus0305]

The ants got me bad today guys

[Marti @marticus0305]

Girl at the bar was wearing Rachel Green’s shirt so I hugged her. We love a good friends Stan

[Elba 🪩 @elbabriana]

still celebrating! 🐾

[Marti @marticus0305]

I pissed off a Karen today. It really motivated me to go work out so long story short hot girl summer has commenced

[Marti @marticus0305]

One sec while I laugh my ass off. I won a most welcoming crew trainer trophy at canes