Chase Martin

Found the truth

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The future light cone of discoveries rounds up to 100% engineering, as the set of physics rules that govern our reality is very tiny compared to what can be done with those rules.

The reason I didn’t choose a career in physics, my favorite subject, is that I would be stuck waiting for a new collider or telescope. Better to advance technologies that ultimately enable discovery of new physics.

[Pete Hegseth @PeteHegseth]

No fatties.
No trannies.
No beardos.
No weirdoes.
No wimps.
No radicals — JUST WARRIORS.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Carnivore is hard to get your head round for one reason: it works by doing the reverse of every piece of advice you've had since school.

- Told to eat less fat. Eat the fat.
- Told to trim the steak. Buy the cap.
- Told to eat 5 a day. Eat 0.
- Told to eat little and often. Eat twice, a lot.
- Told to count calories. Never count again.
- Told to have breakfast. Skip it until you're hungry.
- Told to eat wholegrains for energy. Grain is the thing draining it.
- Told to watch the cholesterol. Eat 6 eggs.
- Told fibre keeps you regular. The gut calms down without it.
- Told to swap butter for oil. Swap the oil for butter.
- Told to snack on fruit. Snack on nothing, because you're not hungry.
- Told you need variety. Eat the same thing and thrive.

Every single line of the leaflet, turned round, and the body says thank you.

You don't have to understand it. You just have to do it for 30 days and watch the leaflet lose.

The advice was never wrong by accident. It was wrong the whole way through, and consistency is a kind of proof.

[Chase Martin @MartinCollada]

@SamaHoole I eat this everyday and have never been healthier. Had surgery recently and had been asked by 4 different hospital staff members the same questions because they couldn't figure out how my blood pressure and heart rate were so good going into surgery.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

I'm going to say something the food industry has kept quiet for fifty years, and if this account goes dark you'll know why. The answer to nearly every question about what to eat is four beef patties with butter on top.

What's a quick, healthy breakfast?
Four patties and butter.

What should I eat after the gym?
Four patties and butter.

What can I cook in ten minutes after work?
Four patties and butter.

What's a high-protein lunch that isn't a sad chicken salad?
Four patties and butter.

What can I afford this week?
Four patties and butter.

What will keep me full until dinner?
Four patties and butter. That was dinner.

What do I feed a teenager who is permanently starving?
Six. And more butter.

What about the bun?
The bun was there to hold it while you walked. Sit down.

What about vegetables?
Put the butter where the vegetables were going to go.

Isn't that a bit basic?
It's ground steak and cream fat. People pay £30 for that under a French name.

You can see why this has been suppressed. There's no cookbook in it, because it would be one page long. There's no app, no powder, no 12-week plan and no sequel. An entire industry of meal kits, protein bars and nutritionists with ring lights rests on you never finding out.

I've said it now. If anyone asks, you heard it from a man who was last seen near a frying pan.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

In New York and California, they have made it illegal for officials to ask for or for you to show your voter ID!

They made election fraud mandatory.

[Robert F. Kennedy Jr @RobertKennedyJr]

Healthy food and healthy children are not Democratic or Republican issues. We need to start loving our children more than we hate each other.

Help Chef Andre Rush gain back his followers. Follow: @realchefrush

[Spencer Pratt @spencerpratt]

100K likes. How much do you think it pisses off Karen Ruthless Bass that I’m not in the race, but she still has to campaign against me?

I love that.

[Skscartoon @skscartoon]

Reality: Despite an engine anomaly, Starship 41 successfully reached orbit and then splashed down in the ocean as planned.
Media: Musk’s rocket lost an engine, then blew up.

[Grummz @Grummz]

We did, Chris, we did.

The rules of the Internet now say we get to mock you mercilessly.

I say this as an Internet chud.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

University debate, "Were humans built to eat meat?", same two chairs, same clock.

Vegan: "Anatomically we're closer to the gorilla than the lion. Flat molars, long gut. A gentle plant-eater with delusions."

Paleoanthropologist: "Then explain the acid."

Vegan: "Which acid?"

Paleoanthropologist: "Your stomach runs at a pH of about 1.5. A lion's sits nearer 3.6. Yours is stronger than the animal you've just been contrasted with, by a factor of about a hundred."

Vegan: "Stomach acid digests food."

Paleoanthropologist: "A cow's rumen sits at about 6.5. That's a compost heap with a pulse. Yours strips the zinc off a coin. Why would a gentle plant-eater carry that?"

Vegan: "Protection."

Paleoanthropologist: "From what? Lettuce doesn't fight back."

Vegan: "Bacteria."

Paleoanthropologist: "Which bacteria live in a leaf at a level that needs a pH of 1.5? Name the salad."

Vegan: "..."

Paleoanthropologist: "The animals that run acid as low as ours are the scavengers. Vultures. Things that arrive at a carcass on the second day and need to kill what's already living in it. We're not built like the lion. We're built like the bird that waits for the lion to finish."

Vegan: "Flattering."

Paleoanthropologist: "It's a picture of a species with a rock, a sharp flake and no claws. You don't get the fresh kill. You get the femur nobody could open, forty hours late, and you'd better have the acid for it."

Vegan: "Acid that strong is dangerous. Look how many people are on tablets for it."

Paleoanthropologist: "The only animal on earth that pays to switch its stomach off. You've spent sixty years pouring cereal onto a carcass digester and now you're medicating the digester for doing its job."

Vegan: "So your argument is that we're vultures."

Paleoanthropologist: "My argument is a number. Yours is a feeling about gorillas. The gorilla eats for most of the day and its gut is a fermentation tank. Yours is done in a few hours and runs on acid. One of you is designed for leaves."

Moderator: "Thirty seconds."

Paleoanthropologist: "She can keep them. I'm still waiting on the salad."

[Glenn Beck @glennbeck]

The sheer hypocrisy from Macklemore here is staggering. He suggested that Ed Sheeran only continued his tour because he "cared more about the money" than human rights... Really?

You know what screams, 'it's all about the money,' Macklemore? STARTING YOUR OWN WORLD TOUR!

I don't care if you claim the ticket profits are going to charity. A world tour is a massive commercial engine. The headline hype drives merchandise sales, explodes your streaming royalties, and builds back a career that was circling the drain.

Ed Sheeran handed you a lifeline, put you on stadium stages, and gave you a platform when nobody was listening to you. And how do you repay him? You hijack his stage, force a controversy, leave smaller opening bands completely unemployed (granted, by their own insane choice), and then turn around and launch your own solo tour off the back of the media circus.

You took a global crisis and a friend's generosity, threw them both in a blender, and turned them into a marketing campaign. Get off the high horse. Nobody is buying the saint routine, dude.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

It was moving

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Made with nickel cathode manufactured locally at Gigafactory Texas!

[Sarah Fields @SarahisCensored]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest photo provided to me by the lone juror and his attorney.

Protect the children.

I absolutely love this so much. ❤️

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

This is the future we shall bring into being

[Kate @kate_p45]

Ed Sheeran’s band walked because they sided with an activist who tried to turn a concert into a political rally so he could throw support and money behind a terrorist group that murders its own people while ignoring what Gaza’s leaders do to Palestinians, Jews, and Christians.

Sheeran is reminding them that they aren't needed. He just walks out alone with a guitar and loop pedal and reminded everyone why they bought the ticket.

That’s a real musician. People paid for music, not a lecture.👏👏

[Over Land & Sea @DanTheMan1118]

Fucking nailed it 👏 well done Ed Sheeran @edsheeran

[Chase Martin @MartinCollada]

@TheAKGuy Well, that was too good to not vote for you. 🤣

[Dave Rubin @RubinReport]

Six years ago Bernie told us that we had six years left because of climate change.

That grift is over and now he’s onto the robots.

Mock this miserable goon into oblivion.