MasterSmirk

Beer Enthusiast | Future President | Funny | Charming | Former D1 2nd String Quarterback | 6 Foot Something | Key Holder | 5 T’s | Just Sayin

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

@BobbiePortland She’s one of those girls that’s so bad I probably wouldn’t even get hard

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

I hate toilets that flush automatically. Stand up and it’s gone. Can’t even look at it. What kind of liberal shit is this?

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Nothing annoys me more than the noise my dads hands make on the steering wheel.

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

“Periodddd periodddd we in this WWE match I’m finna win this belt boo periodddd on gawd if I don’t win this I’m finna spin the block dafuq” #SummerSlam

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

@junkyaRdawg7 How about Mike Tyson higlights @AStro7man ? Or USA? Or Tigers hunting?

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Hey everybody!!! I hate fat bitches!!!

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Drinking Games: Thats What’s Up!
Not Cheating: What’s Up With That?

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Taking a shit between drinks might be the best thing to do. It’s like a reset. I will be back.

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

TikTok should make a thing where people can buy stuff off the app, like a shop or something. Idk I think seeing an ad for that stuff every couple swipes is a good idea and people should really like it.
#fuckyou

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

If I see another ugly ass Ford Flex I swear to God I’m pit maneuvering it.

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

I’m so down bad if I can’t get the 🐈 I’d fuck her belly button at this point

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

I’d rather French kiss a weed whacker than ever work on a Saturday again

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Once my hand comes out the window just know I will not move out of the speed lane I don’t care how much faster you wanna go than me

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Last night I had a dream where one of my tweets went viral. I wake up and see nothing. Ease up on that MLK guy, I know how he feels, and it’s not good😕

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Waze told me I was gonna get to work at 6:45 today. Went 20 over the entire time to prove it wrong, got to work at 6:45 today.

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

My god can I please have a piece of your ass I’ll drive for it I’m so hungry

[Velvet Milkman @velvetmilkman0]

This and a girl that calls you her little retard

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

The fuck my nose stuffed for

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

@LivMae10 Holy #shrink

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

YAAAHOOOOOOO

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

Getting a tattoo on my hand. I’ll keep you guys updated on how it goes.

[MasterSmirk @MasterSmirk]

YYYEEEEOOOOUUUCCCHHHH